Page 45 of The Secret to Belonging

you strain to follow conversations

practice simple sentences in your head

dread the inevitable question that will

freeze you with incomprehension

your accent is getting better

more Norwegian, less French

but that has drawbacks

people assume more fluency

speak more quickly

you’re swept into a riptide

of conversation

you struggle to break the surface

in currents of syllables and sounds

at night

you draw the shades

and collapse

you’ve never

focused so intently

listened so hard

just to function

is a herculean effort

by the end of the day

your head is lead

on your pillow

you sleep the sleep

of the dead

you rarely

think about home

then

the first letter arrives