Page 24 of The Secret to Belonging

they can’t wait for you to arrive

they’ve never been so excited to meet someone

you study the photo

you long for a microscope

is their happiness real?

you don’t want to travel five thousand miles

just to trade one family artifice for another

you imagine yourself in the center

of their lighthearted Scandinavian world

you could so easily be wrong, but

it looks like

joy

bubbling up like a spring

from

the Land of the Midnight Sun

you try to imagine feeling so at ease

with your family

with anyone

you try to visualize unlocking

the cupboard in your chest

you can’t

but you want to

you really, really want to

the last thing in the envelope is a long postcard with twelve different photographs of the sun at different heights in the sky

in Norwegian and English it says:

Midnattssol på midtsommerskveld i Nordland

Midnight sun on Midsummer Eve

in Northern Norway

you open a (newly purchased) map

spread it across your bed