Page 10 of The Secret to Belonging

especially the song Soon It’s Gonna Rain

(your parents’ door opens. someone goes downstairs

the back door slams. the car starts)

there is no hideaway

there is nowhere to run and stay

(you get up and look out the window. the car

drives off before you can see who’s in it)

you hide within your four walls

eyes closed between the headphones

later, your mother calls everyone to dinner

she’s made your brother’s favorite

(Crock-Pot tuna noodle casserole with crushed potato chips)

your father sits at his place at the table

you slide into yours

your brother comes up from his room in the basement

fills a plate, grabs a Coke, and goes back downstairs

your mother stands in the middle of the kitchen

a serving spoon in her hand

dinner is eaten sans conversation

forks click against plates

bottled water gurgles in the Sparkletts dispenser

potato chips grind between teeth

your parents finish their meals and wipe their mouths

then they speak

we needed it for rehab, your father says. because we already

refinanced the house and our credit is maxed

we’re still paying off the card your brother borrowed last summer, your mother says

we needed it for rehab and we’re still going to have to cash out our 401(k), though we’ll to have to find a way to pay the taxes and penalties on the early withdrawal and we don’t know how we’re going to do it

but that’s not your problem, honey, so please don’t worry about that

we needed it for rehab because the judge said it’s either probation and an in-patient program, or jail. and we can’t let him go to jail