Page 29 of Blood & Bedlam

“I couldn’t find the magic that brought you here, but I could feel its trace. Someone did this to you, Reine. I’m sorry. By whatever name you choose, you are Mina. That memory is within you—they are one and the same. It’s why you see them when you dream and draw him.”

Every part of my world shatters, relief mixing with pain, tied together with the devastation of crisis I can see all over Reine’s face. She’s my mate, because she is the only person my heart has ever beat for, but this girl, she has no choice but to feel drawn to me.

“But the memories are just pieces. Is there a way I can see them all? Bridge the gap to find out what’s missing? Maybe Mina—I—” she corrects. “Maybe I know why this is happening, but I just can’t remember.” There’s a trace of hesitation in her voice that catches my attention, the shift in her inflection. Perhaps she’s seen something that has her questioning her own motives.

“There may be a way, but I won’t be able to break into it.” Cate looks at me pointedly. Try as I might for subtlety, Reine catches the shake of my head.

“How?” she asks, just as I growl “no.”

“How?” Reine demands, her eyes hard chips of ice staring me down. Hecate looks exhausted but tugs up the corner of her lips in a smirk, approving of Reine’s defiance.

“Memory is in the Blood. Vladimir can trace the root of you, by drinking.”

“He already did that, but it didn’t work,” Reine replies.

Cate shakes her head. “No, he tasted your blood. He didn’t drink from the vein.” At her words, the beast in my chest rears its head, viscous, desperate and needy for another hit.

“Out of the question. I could kill her.”

“That’s where we’re at. You want to know, that’s the only way.” Cate’s voice drops off sleepily, and Hermes has her gathered up in his arms in a flash.

“Right, we’re done here. Good luck with … all this.” His tone is matter of fact with his British bite, but not unkind. In this moment, Hecate is his only focus, all dick measuring between us gone and dusted.

“Thank you,” I say, and with a dip of his chin they’re gone, the displaced air kicking up papers the only trace of their departure.

I want to look anywhere in the room but at the gaze I know is focused on me, but like I’m under her thrall, she pulls me to her. Reine’s arms are crossed, her jaw set, but beneath all the bravado is a slight tremble.

She’s going to fall apart again.

I wait for her to speak, to gather her words, because I’m scared of saying the wrong thing and making all this worse for her.

“I need to know why this is happening.” The plea is deafening as it falls between us, and I want to give her anything, everything, if it means taking her pain away. But I can’t do what she’s asking. My self-control is under the hells when it comes to her. She stopped my beast once, but there is no guarantee she can do it again, not with my teeth buried in her vein.

“I can’t.”

Explosive anger pulses from Reine as she leaps to her feet, crosses the distance between us, and slams her fists on my desk.

“You have to! I can’t live like this, with shit just happening to me!” There’s rage in her now, sweet and strong, and I wonder how I convinced myself before that she wasn’t my Mina. The pull in my chest is strong, so strong now that I stop breathing for a moment to try and push her scent away, but all it serves to do is trap the essence of her in my lungs, a hit of want straight to my overworked system.

“I’ll kill you, Reine. I’m so sorry, but it’s too risky,” I croak on a plea, but her scream of frustration cuts me off.

“You can’t ruin my life and then keep me in the dark, Vladimir.” My name tumbles from her lips in a fury, the old tongue peeking through, but if she notices, she doesn’t stop to acknowledge it. “If you kill me, I’m okay with it. It’s better to be dead than to be used like this. Someone did this to me. Do you understand how violating that is? My life isn’t my own, so I don’t care what could happen. It’s worth the risk.”

She’s bargaining, but I can’t relent. “I’m sorry.”

The look on her face is devastating, so much anger that the ice in her eyes turns to stone. Without another word, Reine spins on her heels and storms out, slamming my door behind her. Every instinct demands I go after her, to give her what she needs, to properly taste her.

My eyes fall to the photo on my desk, the glass now cracked. The frame holds the picture of my girls from a speakeasy in 1924. They’re young, happy, and vibrant, and I know that If I lost control and killed my mate, it would destroy me irrevocably. The thin leverage of power protecting my girls would crumble into oblivion, and they would be targets of death squads. Thousands of Otherworlders who rely on my protection would be hunted, many killed.

To me, Reine’s blood is a drug, and all humanity leaves me when it comes to the Blood. My beast appetites are too strong to fight against. It strikes me that this might be why she’s here—to drive me to madness, to destruction by draining her dry. Leaving the domain, my girls, to the hordes.

I love Mina with every ounce of my soul, but the love I have for my girls supersedes selfish desires. I made a vow to protect them, to put them first always, and it’s that duty to my children that has my heart breaking all over again.

There’s nothing left to do but pour myself a whiskey and drink until the sun rises on my misery.

Vladimir

CHAPTER 14