Page 44 of The Sound of Harmony

“Don’t stop me,” Kendrick said. “I know what you’re going to say. It’s inappropriate. You’re going to tell me I can’t, or I shouldn’t. But it’s not like that.”

Raine stopped at a red light and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “What’s it like, then?”

Amazing. Wonderful. Terrifying. He was so into Emma, and she seemed to be into him, but she knew him as a successful musician, not as a broken failure, and it was too early to know which way he’d ultimately end up.

He was determined to focus on the amazing part, and save the terror for later. “It’s happening fast,” he admitted. “Kind of like with you and Ben.”

Raine stopped hard at a red light. “Nice try. I’m not telling you anything.”

“It was worth a shot.”

Raine’s bangs were falling into her face and she looked into the rearview mirror while adjusting one of her hairpins. “What do I need to know about Ben?”

“Well, he’s not fascinating,” Kendrick said. “But he’s a good man. And he’s a gifted teacher. He knows how to talk to kids.”

“Have you ever thought about teaching full time?” Raine asked. “Or at least taking on private students?”

“It’s not for me.” If volunteering had taught him anything, it was that he didn’t have the knack.

“So what are you going to do in Cannondale?” Raine asked.

“Get settled, see doctors, take some time off.” Try not to panic as my career goes down the toilet. He’d heard of top-tier musicians who’d taken off as little as two months and eroded years of technique. Soon, he’d be at the level of Ben’s high school students.

Raine had taken the scenic route down Constitution Avenue, past the Smithsonian Museums and the Capitol. Kendrick took a last look, not sure when he’d be back. “And then I’m going to write music,” he said. “Because I’m literally not qualified to do anything else.”

“Why would you want to?” Raine asked.

“Exactly.” Music was breath and blood and bone. It was food and drink and life. Music was so much a part of him that without it, he wouldn’t recognize himself in the mirror.

He didn’t dare think any farther than a few months out, but it weighed on him. Next week, he’d start diagnostics and then get into treatment. He’d find out what the doctors at Ohio State Medical could do for him and hope for the best.