Page 97 of Dark Night of the Soul

Which meant he’d already been thinking ahead of me. Also, he’d said we.

“You knew I was going to ask, didn’t you?” I said.

“I know you. I planned.”

I stared at him for half a second too long.

My throat tightened. I made a face like that wasn’t adorable.

“Silas sure is handy.”

I heard the burner phone in his pocket buzz. He checked it.

“Time to go.”

The dead drop was about an hour and half drive to some abandoned building not far off the highway. Silas had sent coordinates—naturally. The drive was mostly silent. I kept thinking about what was to come and how I’d handle myself. He pulled off the main road and parked behind it out of view of passing cars. Not that there were many this time of night.

“Stay here,” he said.

I didn’t argue. Once he was out of the car, he disappeared into the shadows for a long moment. The endless minutes ticked by until he reappeared with two black duffel bags. He threw them both in the trunk and then we were pulling back onto the highway headed back to the cabin.

I shifted in my seat.

“What if I can’t control it?”

I don’t know why this question came out, but there it was. It was my worst fear coming to light. I wasn’t sure how it would work in a high-pressure situation. Not that I hadn’t been in them before. But this was different. This wasn’t facing down demons and high lords. This was facing a different, more ruthless enemy. This was tapping into something deep inside my head that I’d never put into real-life use.

“Do you think you’re not ready?” he asked.

“I think… I don’t know what to expect.”

Earlier, when planning, the confidence was there. But now… I wasn’t so sure. Like when I was so confident I could take on Sebastian without help. And look how that turned out.

He was quiet for a long moment. “You’ve already done it.”

“I have?”

“You’ve controlled it under pressure. We trained for that.”

“But that was different. That was you. This is strangers. Men who won’t hesitate to kill me.”

“Right. And you know what to expect before they do it.”

“I do?”

“Real threat. Real response. Remember the guard?” He did. His hands tightened on the wheel. “They’re trained to react a certain way. The programming will kick in if you let it. You can anticipate their moves better than you can anticipate me.”

I thought about that for a minute. I could. And it wasn’t so different.

“You do that,” he added, “that’s the strongest message you can send Vormund. He’ll know it’s you.”

“And then he’ll know I’m coming for him,” I said.

He glanced at me then, eyes catching the dashboard light. Gold and green. “And that’s the one that matters.”

I dragged in a careful breath. Nodded. Because I wanted that. I wanted him dead.

“You’re stronger than their wiring. You’ve proved it every day. Tomorrow night won’t be any different.”