Page 51 of Dark Night of the Soul

My thoughts were different. Sorted. Emotions, too. Like I could still reach for the fear, the anger, but it didn’t come to me like it did before. It came to me clean. Distant. Like I could pick it up whenever I needed it. Wield it like a weapon.

They didn’t take that part of me. They moved it.

I closed my eyes, reaching for that dream walker part of me I hadn’t used in months. It had gone quiet after the Ark. Dormant, but never gone.

I’d always been able to reach it when I needed it.

Not this time.

I tried anyway.

Once, I could find Kincade in those shadowed dream walks without effort. I didn’t have to search. I sensed him. He came to me.

Now, when I reached out, there was only the faintest echo of something familiar. A distortion. Like pressing my hand to glass I hadn’t known was there.

I couldn’t push through the veil. Couldn’t lock on.

Something was blocking me.

Or—more frightening—something had been threaded into the space where my power lived.

Maybe he couldn’t reach me either. I knew he could slip into my thoughts whenever he wanted. I knew his voice by instinct alone.

But there was nothing.

No presence. No connection.

I couldn’t reach him. He couldn’t reach me.

The thought settled cold and heavy in my chest.

Had whatever they put inside my head disrupted the dream walk itself?

The door came open. Sebastian stood framed in the doorway peering at me with something I couldn’t read. Curiosity? Interest? Pleasure?

Yes, that was it. He looked pleased.

I remained where I was on the bed. Hands on knees. Back straight. Eyes forward. He wanted me to respond to him. He wasn’t going to get it.

“You adapted quickly,” he said. “It was impressive.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” I asked.

His mouth curved faintly. “You are a wonder, Miss Walker.”

He stepped into the room and closed the door. He clasped his hands behind his back and walked toward me. A predatory stance. I remained where I was, refusing to give him one inch.

I needed him to talk. I needed information. So, I would sit here and wait for him to hand it to me without asking.

“I understand from previous experiments most people panic after they wake up,” he said, talking about it as though he simply referred to the day’s weather report. “You didn’t.”

His gaze cut to mine as he waited.

“I assessed the threat, then responded.”

Thinking about it now, it didn’t feel like me. It felt borrowed. As if my body had moved before my mind gave permission. A switch flipped at the threat and I answered it. They’d planted that switch in my head.

Again, that faint smile. “Yes, you did, didn’t you?”