Page 16 of Dark Night of the Soul

“I’m aware.”

That was it. It was like talking to a fencepost. “Aware how?”

I was pushing it. I knew it. He knew it.

His gaze flicked up to me. “Anna.”

My name as a warning shot.

But I couldn’t leave well enough alone. I exhaled. That word visible kept echoing in my head. And then what he was doing hit me.

“You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I’m not.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re shutting me out?”

Because he was. I dropped my arms. My hands fisted.

“I’m protecting you.” His gaze sharpened.

An old argument. Protecting me. After everything I’d—we’d—been through. Silence stretched between us. There were times in the past where I’d let him take the lead, make the decisions. But not this time. This time it was personal.

“I don’t want you making decisions without me.” About me, I wanted to say.

“Like the decision you made without me when you climbed that mountain?”

Oh, fuck. He had to bring that up. “That’s different.”

“It’s no different,” he said. “You decided you’d rather die than let us fall.”

Die. There it was.

I’d thought about that climb. Breaking every fingernail in the process to get to the top knowing I wouldn’t make it back down. I hadn’t thought about the aftermath, about him standing where he was now, carrying the part I’d left behind.

“I didn’t decide to die,” I said, my voice tight. “I decided you were worth it.”

Now, here we were. Same argument. Different day. In my mind, the Brotherhood was no more dangerous than the Hellscape I faced.

“I won’t let them touch you,” he said, his voice careful. Low.

Like he was the only thing standing between me and what was coming. He was. But I was a big girl now. I knew how to fight.

“I mean that,” he added. As if he heard my thoughts.

He always did.

I searched his face. Looking for anger. Fear. Anything. All I saw was resolve so rigid it scared me. I wasn’t getting anywhere with him right now. He was too stubborn.

“I’m going to reinforce the wards,” I said.

“Fine.”

No argument. No objection. Which was unsettling.

I stepped back toward the door. But he made no move to follow me. Didn’t move from the chair. As I left, I had the strangest, sickest thought—

That whatever was coming, we were already fighting it from opposite sides.