Page 52 of The Snowflake Effect

“Yes, I’m here. And yes, it was better than the PEZ.”

“Did he buy you a fast-food chain?”

I laugh at her ridiculousness. “No, he did not. But remember the first night in their condo? The bathroom sex?”

“Yes…”

“Remember the red lingerie I bought that day?”

She sucks in a breath. “YES…”

“Well, we were kind of frantic, and he tore off my underwear. And…” God, this is mortifying and the hottest thing ever.

“AND????” Lily demands.

She’s so eager, I start to laugh again. “And I figured they got trashed. Totally forgot about them. But⁠—"

“No,” she interrupts, for sure sensing where this is going.

I confirm her suspicions with a pathetic, “Yep.”

“He kept your torn underwear? For all this time?”

“He did, and the note he wrote was…a lot.”

I glance down at the note. I’ve read it at least twenty times, like the masochist I am:

I’m consumed by you, Shay. I don’t understand why, but I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. You’re the first woman in forever to get under my skin. And it’s not just the attraction. This torn lace holds some delicious memories, but I kept it because it reminded me of you. It’s the only thing I had to remember our time together, and keeping it meant there was a chance it wasn’t over. That I’d see you again. Don’t let this be the end, Shay. We’re too good together. It’s too wild and too much fun and I, for one, hate going home alone each night.

Please, take a risk on me.

I blink through my misty eyes and swallow. “What do I do, Lil? Even after our first hookup, which was hot but also pretty volatile, he couldn’t let me go. But we have no future together, not with where we both live.”

“You have the summer, though. That could be fun, right? And no one knows how the future will play out.”

“Kolton said the same thing, but if I say yes and go out with him now, I could mess up everything with this job.”

I don’t mention how desperate I am for the promotion and the raise that comes with it. Not a word about my dwindling cash now that I’ve lost shifts at Sass and Style. Angela’s barely getting by, working extra hours to cover for me. Who knows how long she’ll let this go on.

My life these days is balanced on a fraying wire.

Lily would help me if I asked. She’d invite me to her apartment, but she and Kevin have been struggling lately, their relationship no longer as solid as it was. Even if I could swallow my pride, that’s not a scene I want to crash. And Raven’s place is tiny. Like one-cramped-room tiny.

Still, if a miracle doesn’t happen in the next twelve days, I’ll have to ask Lily to borrow money. I’ll have to be that friend.

“Are you interested?” Lily asks. “If the job wasn’t in the way and you lived in the same place, would you go out with him?”

I reply without hesitation. “Yes.”

“And if you don’t give in,” she pushes, “do you think you’ll always wonder, what if?”

This time, I do pause. Something in my chest pinches. “Yeah, probably.”

“Then there’s your answer. Deal with the future later. As for your internship, you’ve done nothing but amazing work on this project. I can’t imagine Hilary would hold it against you.”

My resolve wavers, so I pile on the excuses. “But it’s like he’s too entrenched in my life. My job is because of him. He may have hired me because he thinks I’m right for the work, but he’s still the reason for it. I don’t want to feel reliant on a man again.”

Lily doesn’t answer right away, but my phone vibrates. The incoming message is from Kolton, and I’d swear a cool breeze whispers across my neck, a visceral reaction I can’t blame on the no-longer-broken air-conditioning.