Page 226 of One Wild Wish

He exhaled a harsh breath. “I asked him to watch out for you. Spend time with you. Being cut off from you messed me up, but I was worried. Figured something else was going on. I had to make sure you were okay.”

The weight of his arm slung over my shoulder suddenly turned crushing, and I fought the urge to shrug him off. It took every ounce of my control not to whirl on August and tell him I hadn’t been his charity case. I hadn’t been a helpless pet. As sweet as his gestures often had been, that was how I’d sometimes felt. That I’d been a problem for him to solve. A project he needed to ace, like everything else in his life.

Even now, I felt like I was seventeen again, shrinking smaller as Kayla Morgan told me August had pitied me. That I dragged him down. Long buried insecurities clawed to the surface, and I nearly screamed.

I wasn’t that girl anymore. I jumped out of airplanes, for Christ’s sake.

I was no longer a teenager who believed she was unlovable because her mother had sneered at her, called her unwanted. Stupid. I didn’t walk through life trying to make as little noise as possible, avoiding friendships, commitments, believing myself unworthy. Yet here I was, anxiety-riddled self-doubt resurfacing.

I needed to get a grip.

I slowed my overactive lungs. I replayed his explanation, how he’d been worried about me back then. There had been no hidden agenda. He may have approached our relationship from a hero perspective, wanting to be the savior, but based on all we’d admitted to each other today, asking Finch to keep an eye on me had been out of desperation, not pity.

All because I’d cut him from my life.

I nestled deeper into August’s side instead of pulling away. I was that woman now. A nestler, not a runner. “Did Finch show interest in me back then? Is that why he agreed?”

“He never said, but he knew exactly how I felt about you.”

“Which made what we did even worse,” I mumbled, still sick about it all.

“It did make it worse, but it wasn’t the only reason.” He looped a lock of my hair around his finger and twirled it. A guitar pick. My hair. Always busying his fingers. “The night I asked Finch to look out for you, he agreed…but asked for a favor in return.” He twirled my hair faster. “He’d tanked his SATs and hadn’t told me or our parents. I didn’t know how bad his grades had gotten, either. He had one more chance to take the test in December of our senior year, and he needed that score.”

“What did that have to do with you?”

“He asked me to take the test for him.”

Oh.

Fuck.

Identical twins.

“And you did it?” I couldn’t hide the shock in my voice. I’d once asked August to help me buy a fake ID. Everyone did it. No biggie. He’d laced into me, saying it was stupid, not worth getting caught. He never colored outside the lines.

“And I did it.” He quit fiddling with my hair. His body became a block of cement. “I wore his preppy clothes and his glasses, and no one was the wiser. I nearly puked before the test. I did puke after. Barely slept for the next few months, sure someone would find out and I’d be expelled, lose my chance at my scholarship. Be kicked off the soccer team. I was a wreck.”

Shame winded me. “So you did this insane, massive favor for Finch.” For me, really. So his brother would watch out for me . “And Finch promised to be my shadow, knowing how you felt about me. Then…that night happened?”

“That about sums it up.”

If he weren’t holding me up, I’d sink to my haunches and bury my face in my hands. August’s requested favor explained Finch’s increased attentiveness toward the end of high school, into college. Finch would drag me out for coffee, force me to meet him at the library for study sessions. But his words to me that fateful night—I’ve wanted you so long —hadn’t been the words of a brother doing a brother a favor. Especially considering what August had done for him.

“I didn’t think I could feel worse about what went down, but this is definitely worse.” Profoundly worse. Shove me in a cell and toss away the key worse.

August spun me quickly, pulled me tight against his chest. “I didn’t tell you to guilt you, but Finch and I never recovered from that night. We speak as needed, but we’re only civil. Not because of what you did. Because my brother betrayed me. I put my future on the line for him, and he fucked me over.”

It all made sense now, how furious August had been that night. The vicious punch to Finch’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

“No.” His tone turned vehement. “Don’t apologize. I’m done playing the victim. There’s no changing the past, and I don’t want you spending these next couple days feeling badly. I forgave you. Not just with words. There’s no anger left. We’re too important. Our time together is too important.”

Our seconds. This finite slice of time. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Oh, honey. I’ll take care of you. Of us. Don’t worry. I’ll make this work.” He kissed me, sweet and slow.

Kissing was one solution. A mighty fine one. The rest was August taking charge, always trying to solve my problems. He didn’t know my life here, what I could and couldn’t do. He hadn’t even asked what I wanted to do. But his lips were addictive, coaxing mine into action. I kissed him back harder, the two of us moving against each other with such devastating need. His lips were soft yet firm. His body was all firm.

“I plan to fuck you blind tonight,” he said against my lips. “Taste every inch of you. Have you come on my tongue and fingers. You don’t even know.”