Page 97 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

Sadie lied.

Sadie was offered her dream job.

A job a million times better than the one she was after.

And she turned it down?

Joseph blows out a rough breath. “The job requires her to move to Arizona.”

My gut bottoms out. Drops to my goddamn feet.

Arizona is across the country, eight states away, and I’m here, about to start classes at Duke next week. Which means, fuck. The only reason Sadie would ditch the job of a lifetime would be to keep us together, settling for less, when she deserves to dream big and chase those big-league opportunities.

I start pacing, torn between what this job means for Sadie personally and what it means for us. If she goes, I can’t follow. Not while I’m in school. If I want to make something of myself and be the Dauntless Lawyer that Max and Sadie expect and deserve, I have to get that degree. We’ll be reduced to computer chats and phone calls. Long-distance hell. After sampling the real thing—living together, working together, movie nights, cliff jumping, cooking classes, Max’s belly laughing at my antics, Sadie’s warm body pressed to mine beneath the sheets—I’m not sure how I’ll survive.

My fingers twitch to end this call. A quick hang up is all it would take. I could pretend I never picked up the phone. Let Sadie make the sacrifice so I can have more our. Our home. Our family. But it wouldn’t be ours, would it? That future would be mine. My selfish needs steamrolling hers, and I can’t do it. I can’t let Sadie lose herself because of me again.

“You still there?” Joseph says. I swear there’s sympathy in his voice.

“Can Sadie still get the job? If she changes her mind, will she be hired?”

“Only if we act fast. Sarah’s speaking with another candidate today. This was my last-ditch effort to convince Sadie to change her mind.”

The sound of Sadie’s hair dryer carries from upstairs. She often has a soft smile on her face when she’s blow-drying her hair, like she’s daydreaming while getting ready. The other morning, when I asked what she was smiling about, she turned those big faerie eyes on me and said, “You.”

A sharp pang cuts through my chest. I seriously might pass out. The notion of losing those special moments kills me. Sucks the air right out of my lungs. But I picture Sadie giving up that museum job after I left, suffering through her parents’ cruelty and carelessness, living with them when she first had Max, all that helplessness and fear stealing her bravery before she realized she deserved better and forged her own path.

Now she has the chance to grow, thrive. Be everything she ever wanted to be.

I plant my ass on the couch back, slump forward, and rub my eyes. “Tell Sarah she’ll take the job.”

“Desmond, I can’t tell her that unless it’s true. There’s a lot in play here.”

“Can you give me time? Another few days to convince Sadie?” I’ll just cut out my heart and find a way to get through the next few years as a zombie version of myself. Like the old me. Except no. I’ll never be that guy again. I need and want more from life, and I’ll have school. I have to make myself better for my family . . . who will be across the country until I can be with them again. For three excruciating years.

“I’ll speak with Sarah,” Joseph says. “Ask her to extend their deadline for us. But it won’t be long.”

“Just do what you can.”

The second we hang up, I drop the phone on the couch, feeling both ill and determined. I won’t let Sadie give this up. I can’t. She’s given up too much already.

She comes down the stairs looking happy and fresh.

My insides pitch violently.

“I’m making tea,” she says brightly. “Let me know if you want a cup. After which, you will not interrupt me in my office again.” She smiles at my legs. “That’s a cute look on you.”

I glance down. The damn bracelet’s hanging off my jeans, unfinished and getting tangled. Pretty much how I feel. When I don’t reply, Sadie searches my face. “Everything okay?”

Not even a little. “You can’t turn down the job.”

She scrunches her nose. “What job?”

“The Arizona gallery job. Joseph just called, and I answered.”

Her loose posture stiffens, the amusement on her face twisting into panic. She resembles Max when he’s processing big emotion: breathing hard, freezing up, eyes getting watery and wide. “It’s not your choice to make.”

“You can’t throw away such an amazing opportunity.”