Page 60 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

I shrug a shoulder. “I’m not messing around.”

“You’re gonna let a ten-year-old kid design a tattoo for you. Whatever he wants. And you’ll get it permanently inked on your body. Forever.” Her sarcasm reminds me a tad too much of Olivia’s ingrained snark.

“No. I’m letting my ten-year-old son design me whatever he wants, because he’s talented and smart and I want permanent art from him on my body. Forever.”

Sadie freezes. Something flicks across her face, an expression I can’t quite place. Then she softens—her eyes, her posture, even the obstinate tilt of her chin. “You’re serious.”

“Of course I am. Serious about him, and about you. About us as a family. I’ve reenrolled in law, back at Duke. That’s what I wanted to discuss with you. I’m staying in North Carolina and planning for my future. Finally picking up my pieces, but I can’t imagine doing any of this without you.”

She breathes harder, giving me nothing. I have no clue what’s going on in her mind. If she’s just nervous about setting Max up for failure if we don’t work out, or maybe this has to do with Joseph or other issues she hasn’t shared with me.

She covers her face with her hand, gives her head a small shake, then she looks at me with a cocktail of emotions I can’t begin to decipher. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll go out with you again. But I still don’t want Max to know. I mean, we’ll tell him who you are Monday. He needs to know that. But he can’t know we’re going on a date or doing whatever it is we’re doing.”

“Oh.” I grin. “We’re definitely going on dates. Plural.”

One corner of her lips kicks up. “I can’t believe you’re letting him design you tattoos.”

“Well.” I hold out my arms. “I’ve already set the bar low on quality.”

“They aren’t that bad. They’re actually kind of hot.” She licks her lips. “In a sexy bad boy way.”

Well now. Sexy bad boy I can work with. I tap my left pec. “Wait until you see this one.” Her expression turns hazy, color rising to her cheeks. Even though that particular tattoo is more comical than bad boy, I’m getting off on her reaction to me. I step closer and run my hand down my chest, over the bumps of my abs, settling by my right hipbone. “And this one.”

“There’s one there?” Her voice is all thirsty breath and throaty hum.

I lean down toward her ear. “Go out with me Thursday night, and you might find out.”

Footsteps thud above us. I straighten, not missing the goose bumps decorating Sadie’s neck.

She touches her collarbone. Another of her turned-on tells. “I can probably get a sitter.”

“Then it’s a date. And Monday, after the hike”—I rub the back of my neck, decidedly less confident—“we tell Max who I am.”

She presses her hand to my shoulder. “I’ll be with you, Des. It’ll be okay. He already thinks you hang the moon.”

“What if he’s angry I lied to him?”

“The lie didn’t serve you. You wanted to meet him sooner, but we both made this decision for him, so he could get to know you without worrying about what to say or how to act. And waiting until he starts with the counselor can only help him.”

I nod, still not fully convinced. Max and I do have a good connection. I don’t question if he likes me. Doesn’t mean he won’t freak out and shut down. A terrifying possibility, but Sadie’s right. He’ll have us and a counselor if things go south.

NINETEEN

I’m no less panicked today. We’re nearing our halfway hike break, and I’ve spent each minute of the past seventy convincing myself Max will be furious I’ve lied to him this long. He’s soon going to shut me and his mom out. The progress he’s made will crumble. I keep reconfirming with Sadie that his counselor appointment is on for tomorrow, but no part of me is comforted.

If Max ends up upset, I’m not sure what I’ll do.

We’ve stopped beside a creek. The water gurgles. A couple of butterflies flit about. It’s a happy Monday with happy sounds and happy sunshine. I’m the lone gloomy cloud in a cartoon that follows a character around, raining on his head.

Forcing my jaw to unclench, I ready myself to approach Max. Not for my life-altering confession—that frightening confrontation will go down in another grueling seventy or so minutes of worry. Today is still book club day, our planned discussion of Divergent, and I need this. These last moments with him before my big reveal, at which point everything might change.

I attempt to suck up my nerves, ready to head over.

But Olivia.