Page 57 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

“I’m just distracted by your beauty,” I said, trying to get my head right. I loved Sadie. Down to my marrow. Didn’t doubt that for a second. I planned to propose that night, but questions kept filling my mind, a million what-ifs dogging me.

What if law school got busier and too demanding and I hurt her?

What if I got too wrapped up in Sadie and couldn’t focus on school?

What if she got to the city and realized the world was much larger than me, and she met someone better suited to her before I got there?

What if we got married and everything that was so easy between us gradually got harder, forcing us apart?

What if marrying Sadie was rash? A bad choice that would derail my path to success?

The faster my mind spun, the twitchier I felt. I touched my pocket nervously, feeling the ring in there, hating the anxiety rushing through me.

Slowing our stride, I tugged her against my chest. “You know I love you, right?”

She tilted her head, searching my face. “I know, Des. I love you too. Even though you wear that blue plaid shirt.”

She hated that ratty old shirt I refused to toss, but she was being cute and flirty. Perfectly Sadie. Instead of teasing her back the way I normally would, I kissed her hard and rough, on the edge of desperate, moving us as I licked into her mouth, tangled our tongues, held her ass so we were flush and grinding. I needed her. Us. To get as close to her as possible, leaving no room for my confused thoughts.

We were in the town square, near the mermaid fountain and towering oak. The area wasn’t built for privacy, but the night was dark and quiet.

“Are we doing this?” she said on a moan as I lowered her down beside a row of bushes. The only cover in the vicinity.

“We’re doing this.”

I didn’t care that we might get caught. I didn’t hold back, shoving down my jeans and sinking into Sadie, growling in her ear, pushing hard and deep as she clawed at my back and met me thrust for thrust until we were shaking and coming.

She kissed me softly afterward, twining our legs together on the cool grass. I couldn’t quit running my hands all over her, didn’t want to get dressed or go home. I kept opening my mouth against her skin, tried to push out the words. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? The words didn’t come.

After dropping her off at home, all I could do was kick myself for being a coward. I drove too fast, shaking my head, grinding my teeth, determined to propose next time I was home from school. I was so frustrated with myself I didn’t notice the van and strange car at first. The men and women in US Marshal jackets attempting to corral my family out of our home. When the bizarre scene registered, I squinted through my windshield, confused.

E was yelling and shoving at a man, tears streaming down his face. Lennon looked shell shocked, standing statue still. Jake and Callahan were holding up their hands in supplication, trying to calm E down.

Unsure what the hell was going on, I jumped from my car and stormed toward the huge guy grabbing at E, ready to let the punches fly.

Mom ran in front of me, her eyes red and puffy. “Des, no. We have to leave. Your father . . . We . . .” She gulped, couldn’t catch her breath. She looked terrified.

Fear sucked out my fight and froze me in place. “What the hell happened?”

Her teeth started chattering. “I don’t know. Your father—they say he’s been laundering money for a drug cartel. It doesn’t make sense. But we’re in danger. We don’t have a choice. We have to go. All of us in that van. Now.”

I blinked at her, sure I heard her wrong.

E was still screaming and lashing out by the front door, fighting off that hulk of a man, while Jake and Cal tried lamely to intervene. A woman took Mom by her shoulders and led her away. Our farm was next to the Moons’ chicken coops but far from their main house. Far from anyone who could hear us and know the madness that was going on.

When E made a pained sound and his knees hit the front porch, I reacted. Stormed over to them and shoved off the marshal while grabbing E by the arm. I yanked him up, held his shaking body against my chest. “We’re getting in that van. All of us. You don’t have a choice. Everything will be fine, but you’re coming with me.”

“No. Delilah.” He sobbed, tried to punch me. “I can’t leave Delilah.”

I held him tighter, a full-body hold as he shook and gulped. “Get in the fucking van, E. You’ll talk to Delilah later, explain what happened then.” Even as I said it, I knew. Nothing would be okay. I didn’t have details, but I knew this night would change everything.

The horror of my premonition sunk in on the drive away from our farm. The marshals started talking about witness protection and new identities and Safesites, and numbness seeped through me. Witness protection meant hiding. Hiding meant keeping my family safe, but Sadie wasn’t my family. I’d never proposed. She wasn’t allowed in the program with us.

When we got to our Safesite, I detonated. A roar of endless shouts that shredded my throat. I punched the wall over and over until my hand was bloody and my brothers were on me, holding me down, trying to calm me, telling me we’d be okay. A useless bucket of well-meaning lies. I knew I’d never have the chance to kiss Sadie again. Never get to propose and joke with her about what a nervous fool I was over it, second-guessing our undeniable future.

I tossed her engagement ring in the trash that night. Never expected to see it again. Now it’s here, in my hand, and I can’t put it down. Even for a second. This ring is proof Sadie and I aren’t over. That the two of us are meant to be.

Max’s health and happiness will always come first. We won’t tell him we’re dating until Sadie feels fully secure in her feelings, but I’m solid in mine. Sadie is the only woman for me, and I think it’s time for a second date. To push a little harder at our boundaries. Visit her home today, even though she’s not expecting me. Tell her about law school. Show her the man I can become. Hope to hell I get to offer her this ring one day and make our family whole.