Page 49 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

Sadie doesn’t speak. Her breasts rise on each heavy inhale, her skin flushing its telltale turned-on blush.

“I’m single,” I say. A repeat of what she knows. Putting the facts out there, because I can’t keep denying our chemistry. My morning with Max has me feeling invincible. The notion of us being together as a family is a possibility I’ve been terrified to imagine, but it’s there now. A future I need to pursue. “I want to ask you out, Sadie. Take you on a date, but we’re both worried about Max. About setting him up for hurt if we don’t work out. So I was thinking we could take things slowly. Not let Max know we’re testing the waters.”

She glances in the direction of the kids, her forehead wrinkling. A moment passes with no reaction from her, then two.

Unable to give up just yet, I lean toward her ear, graze my nose against the delicate edge until her breath catches. “If you don’t want to go out with me, I won’t push. But I won’t pretend I haven’t been dreaming about you for eleven long years, or that my body and heart don’t ache with missing you. I’m dying to take you on a date. Treat you to a nice night where you have no worries except what to wear. Make you laugh. Feed you good food. Afterward, maybe I’ll lean over you like this. Run my hands through your hair. Drag my fingers along your scalp until you sigh, then press my lips to yours for a long, slow kiss. Or”—I pull back slightly, giving her space to think—“we can just stay as friends and coparents to our awesome kid.”

I’m close enough to see the subtle shift in tones on her eyelashes, from dark brown to lighter at the tips. I can also see the indecision in her eyes. She trembles and worries her lip, and I kick myself for pushing too hard too soon.

“It’s okay, honey.” I give her arm a soft nudge. “Let’s head back to the group.”

I go to turn, but she grabs my hip. “Des?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free this afternoon?”

A zip of adrenaline revs my pulse. “I am.”

She looks mildly shell shocked, like she didn’t plan to blurt that question, then she twines her fingers nervously. “This is super short notice, but Jasmine’s mom asked if Max wanted to go there to play after the hike, and he was actually excited, which I’m thrilled about. She apparently has a trampoline he’s dying to try. Anyway, work is slow for me this week, so we could hang out if you want, as long as I’m home to cook dinner. But if you don’t, that’s totally fine. You’re busy, I’m sure. And I kind of spoke before I thought, which is something I never normally do.”

She drops her gaze, adorably bashful and nervous.

I dip my head to meet her eye. “Did you miss the part where I said I’ve been dreaming about you for eleven years? Of course my answer is yes, but I have a request.”

She blinks. “Okay . . .”

“Do you mind if I take you somewhere? Unless you had specific plans.”

“I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. Or at all, really.” She shakes her head with a self-deprecating eye roll. “Whatever you want to do is good with me. But I really don’t want Max to know, even after we introduce you next week. I’m hoping he takes that news well, but there’s so much involved with him. More than anything, he needs stability.”

“I understand and completely agree.” Especially after today’s talk.

I still don’t think I should discuss our book club specifics with Sadie yet. At least not why they started. Max needs time to digest our chat. Feel what he needs to feel about that. Learn to trust me. Then, hopefully, when I tell him I’m his dad, he’ll believe I’m no different than Simon’s dad. A dude who will say stupid things but loves his kid, no holds barred.

Unfortunately, Sadie’s “stability” comment is gumming up my throat. The only thing of value I own is a rusted yellow Camaro that occasionally decides driving is for suckers, and I doubt she thinks being a bartender is dependable work.

I scratch at my hair. “We should get back to the kids.”

She nods, then heads toward the group. I take a fortifying breath before following. I’m pumped about having time with her later today, can’t wait to surprise her with a fun outing, but her stability talk is lingering uncomfortably. I scrub my hand down my face, a mix of feelings making me dizzy. When I step forward, I nearly walk into Olivia.

She cranes her neck to stare up at me. “What job did you do during witness protection? Did they give you, like, a whole new life with new clothes and a new house and tons of new stuff?”

I swear this kid smells anxiety. I scan the clearing before answering her unpleasant question. Everyone’s busy checking out the maps for our return trip. Except Olivia, who’s busy driving me nuts.

May as well get this over with. “They helped us get settled with a house and furniture and stuff, and they gave us funds for school and living. After an allotted time, we were expected to fend for ourselves financially.”

She pops a stick of gum into her mouth. “Okay, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“Pretty sure it does. You get one question a day and you asked two. I answered one of them.” The easier one.

“Pretty sure if there are two questions, and you can only answer one, you’re obligated to answer the first one.”

“Not in my world.” And she’s not the only one who has internet access. “Forgot to mention it, but did you know gum is basically a lump of soft plastic, and chewing it contributes to a hundred thousand tons of plastic pollution every year? Way to go on killing the planet.” I give her a suck-on-that smirk.

She retaliates with a mad-scientist leer. “Did you know the color yellow creates feelings of frustration? It stimulates eye strain and fatigue.” Her attention drops to my Littlewing Outdoor Camp T-shirt. “Basically, you’re slowly killing us.”

Dammit, how is she this good?