As I opened my mouth to do just that, finally sit down and spill the truth, her phone buzzed. She grabbed it from my dresser and tapped the screen.
I’d seen a symphony of expressions cross Ainsley’s face, from erotic rapture to stressed claustrophobia to simple joy. Her flaring nostrils and widening eyes were none of those things.
I stepped toward her. “Something wrong?”
The phone shook as she angled the screen my way. “Why don’t you tell me?” Her usual raspy voice thinned and cracked.
Cupping her outstretched hand in mine, I read the text that had my girl upset.
From one woman to another, you should know that Owen cheated on his wife while they were married.
Fucking hell. Jaw clenched, I pulled the phone from her and checked the number. The D.C. area code had me nearly dialing Tessa and yelling at my ex, but the familiar number wasn’t hers. It took a second for it to click, to realize who’d decided to upend my life.
Goddamn Caroline. But why?
She’d been disgusted with me when I ran into her at the law firm, but ambushing my girlfriend was a whole other level of scorn. Unless she’d had some urging. I’d stupidly mentioned to Tessa that I’d met someone during our argument. Did she and Caroline have a girls’ night out? Relive their rage over glasses of wine? Decide together to ruin my life?
“Owen?” Ainsley’s voice was just a whisper, laced with pain. “Why do you look more mad than surprised?”
I tossed her phone on the bed. “It’s not true. I swear to God, it’s not true.”
Her shoulders hunched forward, her breath coming faster. She was in slim black pants, a loose cream top hanging off one shoulder, always stylish and sexy. What wasn’t sexy was how she was curling in on herself, looking at me like I was a stranger.
I gestured to my living area. “Can we sit and talk?”
She swallowed, but didn’t answer.
“Ainsley, please. I know how this looks, but I can explain.”
“God, Owen…did you read that text? I mean, I’m freaking out here. I don’t even know what to think.” She crossed her arms over her middle as though she might fall apart.
I was furious at Caroline for sending that text, but seeing Ainsley barely holding it together gutted me. My anger leached out. “Tessa thinks I cheated on her, like that text said, but I didn’t. I’ve wanted to tell you, but with your past and everything I was scared to bring it up.”
“So you kept it from me?”
“It was the wrong choice, but I’d decided to tell you tonight. That’s why I asked if we could talk before we made love. Please, just hear me out.”
I couldn’t be sure if it was her remembering me asking her to talk or the reference to us making love, but she finally nodded. I all but collapsed. If I didn’t fix this, I’d lose her. It would serve me right for keeping the details of my divorce secret, but the possibility was acid to my lungs.
Once her feet were tucked under her, both of us facing each other on my couch, I exhaled. “We’d been in a bad place awhile, Tessa and me. Years, really. She’d thrown herself into work, and I’d started volunteering at a Habitat build to escape my job. We rarely saw each other. Hadn’t been intimate in ages.”
I wanted to reach for Ainsley, hold her hand and feel our connection, but her unblinking gaze held me back. Throat thick, I forged on, “You’re the first woman I’ve been with since her. She and I were basically strangers for our last year together, even before that hardly connecting. We fought regularly. It took an eye-opening conversation with a friend to make me realize I wouldn’t be able to love Tessa again, no matter how long I held on, and when I ended things, she kind of…”
I gritted my teeth, remembering the animosity emanating from her that day. “She kind of snapped. She accused me of cheating on her. Refused to accept we were done, that I was leaving her to be on my own, not for someone else. To this day, I have no idea why she thinks I abused her trust. I’m not sure if it’s because we weren’t sleeping together. She’s vague about it, but vehement. She’s never even uttered a woman’s name, whoever she suspects.”
Except Tessa was cagey like that, treating us like we were in court, holding onto her best cards until they would do the most damage.
I couldn’t imagine what fable she’d concocted, or what drove her sordid conclusion. In the end, I’d assumed it was her saving face with her friends and at her firm, shifting the blame to me. It still left me uneasy, had my mind back on that SUV outside and her battle-ready glint during our recent fight. Even this stunt reeked of Tessa—using an investigator to find out who I was dating would be child’s play for her, securing Ainsley’s number a cinch.
None of that mattered, though. And she had nothing left to hold over me. What mattered was Ainsley, the heartbreaking turmoil on her beautiful face.
“That’s a lot to absorb,” she said quietly.
At least she wasn’t yelling or running away. I inched closer, dropped my voice lower. “I know. I should have told you, but I was worried. Your ex and the guys you work for—that stuff’s a big deal. I figured you’d get one whiff of this and bolt. And my old friends all believe Tessa. They think I’m a lying sack of shit, which really hurts. That’s who the text was from—I recognized her number. Caroline and I were close before, but I saw her on my trip to D.C., and she ripped into me. I don’t know if she sent that text with Tessa or on her own. Either way, she probably thinks she’s doing you a favor. So it’s all just…” I focused on the stuccoed ceiling, wishing things weren’t so damn complicated.
“Owen.”
I couldn’t face her yet. Not until I’d said it all. I kept my attention on the off-white divots and craters above our heads. “Thing is, Ainsley, you’ve kind of knocked me off my feet. I’m falling hard for you, but this is me—my shitty life right now. If you can’t trust me after that text and what I’ve said, I understand. You’ve been through a lot. But the real truth, the harder truth, is losing you will hurt like hell.”