Page 33 of The Tartan Thesis

“Hey, respect your elders,” she commands. Even though the joke is overdone, she’ll never stop reminding me that she was born two minutes before I was.

“Fuck off,” I say.

“Love you, too.”

I end the call and stare down at my phone.

My fingers tremble as I text Beau. We’ve been getting along, despite how much I swear at him when we work out, but asking him to spend more time together has my thumbs struggling to type a message. I take a breath and remind myself I’m just adhering to our action plan. We’re also inviting our classmates to join us. It’s not a date. No need to be nervous.

Torin

Hey, what are you doing Saturday?

Beau

Howdy! I’m free as a bird. What’s up?

Torin

We need to visit some historic sites. The action plan.

Beau

I’m in. Should we invite the rest of the class?

Torin

Aye, I’ll message the group chat to see if anyone’s interested.

Beau

Great. Looking forward to it.

Torin

Me too.

I send a message to the class group chat, then immediately start second-guessing my plan. Is the Royal Mile too touristy? The answer is yes. But even though it’s often overrun with visitors, a lot of history did take place there, so it’s a worthwhile start to our excursions.

Maeve and Isla respond that they’ll join, but everyone else makes their excuses as the morning goes on, which is fine. A small group will be easier to keep together in the crowd.

I turn to the stack of PDFs on the table next to me. The top one is already covered in yellow highlighter and sticky notes, and there are at least six more underneath it waiting their turn. I take a reluctant bite of hard-boiled egg, chewing slowly while I scroll through the reading list on my laptop. There is so much to get through. Between Beau’s gym sessions and this weekend excursion, I’m already losing study time, which isn’t ideal.

I rub the back of my neck and glance toward the clock. I like spending time with Beau. He’s smart and fun. Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes, actually. The memory of him spotting me on the bench press flashes through my mind—those big hands hovering just below the bar, ready to save me from being crushed to death, his voice low and encouraging, telling me when to breathe. I shove the rest of the egg into my mouth.

I was going to stay home until class this afternoon, but maybe I’ll go to the shared office instead. I could bring these articles and work there. I pack up my things and tell myself I’m only going to be collegial. Not because I’m hoping Beau will be there.

But Freya’s words ring in my ears: I’ll pretend I believe you. For now, anyway.

12

Beau

Irn-Bru (iron-brew)

Translation: Sugary soda sold in Scotland

Usage: Originally sold as a nutritional supplement, it is now considered “Scotland’s Second Beverage” (after whisky); looks like orange soda, tastes like cream soda, but even sweeter