Page 75 of The Star in Room 7

“I’m going to get out of here one day,” Kurt said defiantly. “I’m going to leave this shitty town behind.”

“We’ll get out of here together,” I promised.

“Together.”

We knocked our fists together, his on top of mine, then mine on top of his.

“I did get out. I’ve made something of my life.”

Would Kurt have been proud of me?

I clear my throat. “This guy I met… My boyfriend… I think you’d like him. He’s an actor. He’s waiting to hear about a huge movie. It’ll make him a star. He’s had an audition, and a screen-test, and was asked to sign a multi-movie test-option contract.”

I’m so proud of Zach. Even getting that far is a massive achievement. We learned via one of the Hollywood gossip rags that he’s on a shortlist of three actors. Waiting to hear from the studio is excruciating, so I’ve been doing everything within my power to keep Zach relaxed and distracted. I chuckle. That means we’ve been doing lots of playing. It turns out that my sweet boy adores being edged. I bought him some new toys, which we’ve been having lots of fun with. He loves surrendering to me, especially when I tie him up and blindfold him.

I cleared his apartment out, getting rid of everything his stalker had touched, as requested. His therapy sessions have been going well, and he’s been spending more time at my place than at Halo House. He’s waiting to hear about the movie before looking for a new place. While he’s test-optioned, he’s not allowed to do any other auditions or accept any other offers. But he’s fired up about the possibility of getting this film. His eyes light up whenever he talks about it. When I first met him, I worried his spirit had been dampened for good, but that isn’t the case.

“I love him.” I can throw that into the world here, where there’s no one to hear me. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” I knock my knuckles against the top of the headstone. “Maybe I should tell him that.”

I stand and stare at the gravestone for a few more minutes, paying my respects silently. It never felt like enough before, but today it does.

I swipe a tear from my cheek. “Your dad’s gone. I thought you’d want to know that. Heart attack.” I press my lips together and sniff to stop any more tears from falling. “I hope you’ve found peace, Kurt. I’ll see you around.”

I touch two fingers to my lips, kiss them, and then stoop to press them to the grave. Then I turn and walk away, a sensation of tranquility settling within me.

21

ZACH

I take the call from my agent the second my phone rings.

“Zach. Good news, you’re being offered the role.”

Giddy excitement wells up within me. I sit on Nate’s sofa, gently chewing my thumb as I process the news. Nate isn’t in. I wish he were here. But he’s not, so I have to do this on my own.

“Zach?”

“Sorry. That’s great. But, Melanie…” I hesitate. Can I do this? Yes. I can. I’ve been thinking about it since Nate took me back to my apartment. I will not be afraid anymore. I will not be ashamed. I take a deep breath, steeling myself. “There’s something we need to talk about.”

“Uh-oh. Sounds ominous. Shoot.”

“I’m gay.”

“Okay…” She draws the word out to three times its normal length.

“I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

“And you shouldn’t have to.”

I smile nervously, even though she’s not here to see it.

“But could you wait until after the first film is out and breaking the box office before you broadcast the fact you’re gay?”

“I— What?” I rub my hand over my thigh. “I wasn’t going to broadcast it. I don’t want to pretend to be straight anymore.”

“Sure, sure, and that’s great, and you should absolutely do that. After you’ve proved your worth to the studio.”

“Melanie…”