Page 64 of The Star in Room 7

They laugh. “No! Well, yes, but I meant about the audition. I bet he’d encourage you to go for it.”

“Do you think I should?”

Puck nods emphatically. “I reckon the moment you’re in that audition room, you’ll remember why you love acting and forget all about quitting.”

I fiddle with the towel I was using to dry my hair. “I’m scared, Puck. Scared the next person who decides I belong to them will do more than… Than…”

“Than what?” they ask gently.

“Break into my home. Wait for me. Act like we’re a couple.” I suck in a breath. “Other than the cops and a therapist, Nate’s the only other person I’ve talked to about it.”

“Then I’m honored. But, seriously, it’s a good thing you could tell me.”

“It is?”

“Yes. It means you’re healing.”

“It does?”

They smile brightly. “Yup! Was it easier telling me than Nate?”

“Yes, actually.”

“See?”

“But I’m still scared.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

I stare at them. “It’s like a crushing weight.” I press my hand over my heart. “It’s like the fear is controlling me.”

“Then don’t let it.”

“You make it sound easy.”

Puck squeezes their teddy bear tighter. “It’s not,” they say in a small voice. “You’ll probably have to remind yourself a hundred times a day not to let the fear win. But, after a while, you’ll realize you don’t need to remind yourself as often, and, eventually, it will have been so long since you needed to, that you won’t remember the last time you did.”

“How do you know?” I croak.

“I don’t, for sure. But I have to believe it’s possible and true.” Their blue eyes sparkle with unshed tears.

Oh, fuck… For me it’s fear. For Puck it must be the need to drink.

“You can do it,” they whisper. “I know you can. Call your agent. Do the audition. Make that role yours.”

“Thanks, Puck.”

They grin and shrug their shoulders in the sweetest way possible. “I didn’t do much, but you’re welcome. Charger?” They hold their jumper-covered hand out.

“Oh, right, yes.” I unplug it from the wall and drop it onto their palm. Then I grab Ted. “Thanks for lending him to me, but I’m good now.”

“You can keep him for a bit longer.”

I gaze at the forlorn teddy bear, unsure if I should accept Puck’s offer or not. Do I need Ted? The first few days I was here, I cuddled him while I fell asleep. But now I spend every night at Nate’s, and he makes me feel safer than a teddy bear ever could. But Puck… Puck clings to their other bear constantly. I’ve never seen them without it in their arms.

“I think you need him more,” I say.

“If you’re sure…”