Page 21 of Taking His Heart

He saved us both from making a huge mistake. Although I’m sure the only thing I managed to do was hurt him more in the process. I’ve made him hate me more. Why would he even suggest we get married? Argh, I’m so annoyed with myself. With him. The more I think about it, the angrier I get because fuck him. He should never had made a suggestion like that to me.

A shadow steps into the doorway behind me. I’m currently standing in the bathroom, applying a heavy dose of concealer under my eyes. I look at the figure and smile. My mum. Her brows furrow when she looks back at me through the mirror.

“What’s wrong? Why have you been crying?” she asks, walking into the bathroom.

She stops next to me, takes my face in the palms of her hands, and gives me a closer inspection before her arms wrap around me and she pulls me tight against her. As soon as I feel her hug, the tears start again. I can’t stop them.

“Oh, honey, what happened? Tell me who hurt you and I’ll have your father deal with them,” she says.

I shake my head. “No one hurt me. It’s me. I can’t… I can’t… It’s all my fault,” I cry.

“Shhh, it’s going to be okay. Come and sit down with me.” My mum takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom. She sits on the bed, her back against the headboard, and I curl up next to her, just like I used to when I was a child and needed mum hugs. “You don’t have to tell me, Daniella, but you will feel better if you talk to someone about whatever is bothering you,” she says.

I shake my head. “I can’t tell anyone, Mum.”

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not that bad.”

“It is. I messed up, really bad.” I cry as she tightens her arm that’s wrapped around my back.

I’m way too old to be crying to my mum like this, but right now, I need the kind of comfort that only she can give me.

“I’ll fix it, sweetheart. Whatever you messed up, I can fix it for you,” she says, and I know she truly believes she can fix any problem of mine, because that’s the type of mum she is. She’s always been my biggest cheerleader, right next to my dad.

“You can’t fix this one for me, Mum,” I say through my sobs.

My mum’s hand runs through my hair. “Okay, then we’ll just stay right here until you feel better.”

“I’m never going to feel better,” I tell her. “I will never be okay. I’m not whole without him and I can’t be selfish enough to have him.” My words are quiet, but I know my mum hears me.

“CJ?” she questions, and I nod.

“He was going to marry me last night, and I almost went through with it. I almost caved and just took what I wanted. But then I remembered I can’t do that to him.”

“I don’t understand, sweetie. Why can’t you have him?” Mum asks while she continues running a hand through my hair in a soothing motion.

I push myself up and move so I’m sitting cross-legged in front of her. “I can’t be anyone’s wife because I can’t give anyone a family.” I hold my breath, waiting for my words to hit her.

I see it the moment they do. Her eyes widen slightly. “What do you mean you can’t have a family?”

“I can’t have children. I had issues when I was nineteen. I had to have a hysterectomy. I told you I was going on vacation because I didn’t want anyone to know,” I admit.

My mum is silent, and then she starts crying. “You should have told me something like this, Daniella. I should have been with you. I should have been there to help you,” she says through her own tears.

My dad appears in the room. It’s like he has a beacon implanted inside my mum somewhere that alerts him when she’s upset. Because somehow, he always turns up. And right now, he’s looking between the two of us. Both of us are in tears.

“What the fuck is happening?” He sits on the bed and pulls me into his arms. “Daniella, what’s wrong?” Then he looks to my mum. He reaches out, grabs her hand, and pulls her towards him, wrapping his other arm around her. “One of you better start talking before I start slaughtering everyone in this house. What happened?” he growls.

“It’s fine. It’s going to be fine,” my mum says. “We’re okay.”

I know that she won’t tell my dad what has me so upset unless I give her the okay to share this personal information. I know she’s also going to take a while to forgive me for not telling her about this sooner, or the time I had surgery. I didn’t want to put this on my family. It’s a me problem. I’m the one who’s not whole anymore. I suffer enough because of it. They shouldn’t have to suffer too.

“Mum is crying because of me. I told her I can’t have children,” I explain.

My dad has this confused look on his face for a few seconds before he glances from my mum to me. “What do you mean you can’t have kids? Of course, you can’t. You’re never moving out of my house and getting married, Daniella,” he says.

This gets a small laugh out of me because I’ve already moved out of his house. “I’m serious, Dad. I can’t have children.”

“Because you don’t want them?” he asks.