Page 144 of Echoes of the Banshee

“I did it,” I tell him. “We only called because we were worried something happened.”

“Are you sure, illusions aren’t your specialty and that one took a lot of work to hide.”

“I can cast them on myself fine.”

“Alright, well good. I really can’t miss that meeting.” It almost sounds like care. “I’ll cast a new one over Thanksgiving anyways.”

He hangs up with a goodbye for Mavis. We stand staring at each other for a few moments until her alarm sounds.

Without a word, I let myself out and head to my dorm. When I get in the shower, I drop the illusion.

I always liked the brand. The shadows did too. They’re why my father struggles so much with the illusion charm. Because in my heart I don’t want it hidden.

It means I got a second shot.

I used to think that I’d wasted it. Twenty one and can barely talk to people. Never kissed someone.

Until Thea.

She makes me feel alive.

But she isn’t. She moves through the day like a zombie. Zair adds me to a group chat with Benson and Dylan as we keep an eye on her all day. She spends Misfits staring at a wall before leaving and walking straight to her dorm. No stop for food. No going to the library.

I’m just sliding down the wall outside her door when she cracks it open. I wait but nothing happens. Standing, I step inside. She’s laying on her bed, staring at the tallies on her wall. I shut and lock the door before leaning against it.

“Sorry I didn’t let you in last night.”

“Don’t—”

“No, I need to say this,” she interrupts. “I’m disappointed that you’re not him. Because he’d show up and sleep outside my door just to make sure I’m okay.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She starts crying and I cautiously approach, wrapping my arms around her as she falls apart.

“I’ll always be here for you,” I promise. “Did you know fireflies dim during times of trouble, then come back and shine brighter.”

She cries harder, cuddling against me until the tears become sleep.

Thea

Running Out of Rational Options

It’s Friday and I’m still stuck in the spiral, disconnected from everything around me. I’ve been a terrible friend. I can’t even remember the last time I checked on Benson properly. He was cursed by Anita for being my friend, and now I’ve disappeared on him.

Mavrik’s been sleeping on the floor in my room. His shadows unwilling to let him leave as I lose myself.

And Zair…

He’s been trying so hard to be there for me. Every time I pull away, every time I make an excuse not to meet him or talk, I see the hurt in his eyes, even if he doesn’t say it. Maybe that’s the problem. I can’t keep doing this to him.

But the truth is I’m scared. Scared of how my heart races when he’s close, how I want to believe that maybe he’s the one. I can no longer trust myself to judge. Because I want him to be Lazlo so badly, he can’t be. If I believe it, it will only hurt worse when I’m wrong. And yet he makes me feel safe in a way I don’t want to admit. I’m supposed to be focused on finding Lazlo — the only person who’s ever mattered.

I kissed Mavrik and it felt so right. But he isn’t Lazlo, I’m sure of that now. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’d probably turn himself into a banshee to help me.

And Zair, it feels like I’m opening a door I shouldn’t. I wish he hadn’t slipped, hadn’t said how hard it was not to kiss me. I hate how hard it was for me too.

I could scream, but it wouldn’t change anything. I could fall apart, but it wouldn’t fix the mess I’ve made of my own expectations. I just want to hit something, anything, but instead, I take a slow, shaky breath and focus on not completely crumbling.