Page 137 of A Wild Darkness

“What do you mean?”

She pauses. “Well, you’re a little impulsive sometimes, and I know how you shut out your emotions, so I want to make sure you’re mentally handling what the crew does.”

A pang of defensiveness hits me. “I’m doing fine, Lux. You did this completely by yourself⁠—”

“But you’re not me,” she interjects again. “I’ve seen things and have been exposed to more murders and violence through Dad than you.”

“And you’re saying because I wasn’t Dad’s favorite and spent hours poring over case files and murder pictures, I can’t be a part of this like you?”

“Dad’s favorite?” Her voice rises with confusion. “Wait. What?”

Sebastian’s hands grip my ass cheeks. He spreads them open and runs his tongue along my puckered hole from behind.

I moan into the pillow, my legs twitching. This conversation with my sister has to end before I say something to piss the both of us off.

“Never mind. He called me looking for info on you yesterday,” I say.

She huffs. “Why would he call you? He knows where I am.”

“He doesn’t like going too long without talking to you. Call him back, okay?” I rush my sister off the phone, lacking the energy to continue.

I can’t believe she doesn’t believe in me enough to do this. Which is strange because Sebastian got the okay from her before asking me to work with him. Perhaps her confidence was grounded more in Sebastian and the team than me and my abilities.

Sebastian senses the tension, pausing his movements.

“Fine,” she spits. “I still don’t know what your problem is. You’re my sister. Of course I’d be concerned for you.”

I shake my head, preparing to respond. “There’s a vast difference between being concerned for someone’s safety and not believing they can actually do something. And this isn’t about this one instance. It’s always how it’s been with you.”

“Where is this coming from?”

Sebastian comes around my side, lying next to me with his head perched in one hand. His expression is troubled, I’m sure he wants to know what’s up with Lux and me. And frankly, I’d rather be talking to him about it than her anyway. Letting my insecurities with myself get in the way of my ability to awaken my confidence is something I rarely let happen.

I swallow down everything. “Forget I said anything. Call Dad back, and we’ll talk when you return from France.” I end the call.

Tossing my phone to the side, I roll to my back and bring my palm up to my forehead.

“What was that all about?” Sebastian asks.

“Nothing,” I say.

“Stevie, talk to me.”

I sigh. “I’ve already told you. It’s stuff with my dad and sister.”

Sebastian cups my cheek. “Let nothing get in your head before tonight. You’re going to do well, because we are going to bring down this group together. Now, get dressed, because it’s almost time for us to leave.”

Sebastian’s expression is soft but stern. I want to fight back with him for bossing me around like that, but I let it go, because he’s right. I have fueled every step of this process with his help and support, and during that time I have unlocked something in myself that’s always been there. But I was too closed off before to recognize it.

The lengths I’ll go to make sure we take this group down have no limit. Sure, I might be scared, and yeah, I probably overreacted a bit with my sister, but her words triggered me, and it feels good to bring these emotions to the surface.

I smile at him. “I know. Thank you for believing in me.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows snap together. “You don’t need anyone to believe in you. You believe in yourself enough.” Then he leans in to bring his soft lips to mine.

My hands thread through his hair, holding him in place for a minute longer.

How is it that someone I could barely stand a few weeks ago has suddenly become essential to my world?