Page 83 of Silk and Sensibility

“Yes,” Grand­mother Jiang continued. “We heard that after you passed the provincial exam, your family held a lovely wedding to welcome your new bride. Shuāng xǐ lín mén. Two happy occasions in the family at the same time, correct?”

“Um. Yes. Sort of. We were all happy to welcome Lusi into our family, but the groom was my brother Ruoze, not me. I am still unmarried.”

Ailin’s stomach flipped.

“Your younger brother is married to Miss Shen?” Mama asked in astonishment.

Enze nodded.

Grand­mother Jiang seemed more bemused than surprised. “Congratulations all the same, but how did that come about? Wasn’t little Lusi madly in love with you?”

“Well, no. I don’t think so. We grew up like siblings, and when the marriage negotiations between our families began in earnest, it became clear that our interests and personalities were not suited as husband and wife. She and Ruoze, on the other hand, were the same age and shared the same aspirations in business. An astrologer confirmed that their birth signs were more compatible, so it was settled. Ruoze and Lusi married right after I passed the provincial exam.”

An indescribable relief flowed through Ailin as she listened to Enze’s explanation. Her heart felt so light that she thought it would float away like a sky lantern. She reminded herself to breathe as she thought about the implications for Enze. Did Fan Ruoze marrying Shen Lusi mean that Enze was welcomed back into his family? Was Enze disappointed or happy at the way things had unfolded after all his sacrifice?

Enze cleared his throat. “I must travel to Beijing to sit for the metropolitan exam next spring. And I don’t want to burden you all, but I once promised Madame Duan that I would visit if I had good news after the provincial exam. I’m here now because of my promise, but also because I hope to, that is, if it’s all right . . . to ask for Miss Duan’s hand in marriage?”

Ailin blinked, unable to process his question. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Say ‘yes,’ you silly girl,” Grand­mother Jiang admonished. “We’ve all known how much you loved him even before his exam success.”

“What?” Ailin flushed. She had done all in her power to hide her feelings in front of others. The boldest public action she had taken was to send Enze a letter. How had Grand­mother Jiang found out?

“You young people think you’re so secretive when all your emotions are written on your face. I will admit that you wear a mask better than most, little Ailin, but even then, did you not recognize all the opportunities I gave you to speak up? Every time I included you when little Lusi was planning her pursuit? I thought if you liked Enze that you would fight for him more.”

Ailin was dumbstruck.

“I’ve been waiting to see what you all would do, and I suppose everything worked out.” Grand­mother Jiang smiled. “Since we’re already holding a wedding banquet here next month, we might as well add another couple to the celebrations. That would be the most efficient option.”

“We’d have to change the invitations,” Mama pointed out.

“You’re right, Xiuyun. Let’s go tell Chunwan and Meilin right away.”

The two ladies vacated the hall, leaving Ailin alone with Enze.

Ailin tried to regain some semblance of self-control. “This is happening too fast, isn’t it?” Tears streamed down her face, so she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She wished she didn’t look so undignified in front of Enze. “Grand­mother Jiang and my mother are rushing things. I should ask them to come back to discuss it more.”

“Wait.” Enze grabbed her wrist before she could flee.

Despite his gentleness, her wrist burned where his fingers met her skin. Heart pounding, Ailin turned back toward him.

He brought out a clean silk handkerchief and dabbed the tears away from her face. Up close, he smelled like wind and sun. “I need to thank you for your letter. Your message encouraging me not to give up meant everything, even when my situation seemed hopeless. Without you, I wouldn’t have even gotten close to passing the provincial exam.”

“I’m sure you would have,” Ailin said. “You’ve always been talented and hardworking.”

He shook his head. “You’re the only one who believed in me from the start, even before I believed in myself. I never thought I deserved you, especially after we parted in Hangzhou, but your letter gave me hope while your mother’s letter gave me confirmation.”

Ailin swallowed nervously as she thought of Mama’s dramatic reaction earlier. “What did my mother write?”

Enze withdrew a folded sheet of paper from a pocket near his heart. “Do you want to read it yourself? I always keep it with me, along with your note, as a reminder that they’re real.”

Ailin carefully took the paper from Enze’s hand. Unfolding it revealed her mother’s expressive calligraphy.

My dear Enze,

I heard that you are considering giving up on the imperial exams. I sincerely hope this is not true. Ailin feels the same. She has written a letter to you as well, and though I don’t know what she wrote, I would like to add an addendum.

Ailin is a devoted child who would do anything for those she loves, but she rarely expresses her feelings, especially if she thinks they will burden others in any way. It took great effort on my part to persuade her to write to you because she has never written a letter to a man who is not a blood relative. I believe she broke this rule of propriety for you because she truly cares for you.