Page 22 of Silk and Sensibility

“Could you pass the imperial exam like a carp jumping over the dragon gate? Could you move a mountain like Yúgōng?” Ailin didn’t know why she was bringing up fables. Perhaps because the future felt so impossible.

“I would move a mountain for you if you were willing to give me a chance. I will study my hardest for the exam. I will convince my family to love you as much as I do. I will work to provide for us.” His voice broke. “All I need to know is whether you want to be with me.”

Ailin inhaled deeply, trying to keep herself from trembling. Her resolve wavered against the depth of his sincerity. Just like the time in the bamboo garden, when she had lent him the book from her dowry, her heart yearned to tell the truth despite her mind warning her it was a bad idea. With him, she always felt inexplicably safe. Despite the opposition they faced, she wanted to imagine a future with him.

When she opened her mouth to speak, her words were barely audible. “I do want to be with you.”

He stepped toward her, closing the distance between them as much as he dared. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that,” he said artlessly. “Can you say it again?”

He leaned down so she wouldn’t have to raise her voice. He was so near that she could whisper in his ear if she wanted to. However, she didn’t want to speak anymore. If she really was going to marry him as she intended to, then she didn’t have to express herself with mere words. Instead, she pressed her lips to his cheek.

Enze turned toward her in surprise, inadvertently bringing his mouth closer to hers. She leaned in, and he didn’t pull away. Instead, he returned as much affection as she gave. Warmth flooded through her. His hands cupped her face as her arms wrapped around his neck. Despite the chilly garden air, he was tender and perfect. Time seemed to slow down or speed up—Ailin was so dizzy that she couldn’t tell which. At the back of her mind, she knew she had to cut off the kiss soon in order not to attract attention, but for one enchanted moment, she allowed herself to indulge in pure bliss.

即日歸家，爭取功名。

I shall see you soon, dear brother. I’m coming home to work and study at the same time. I used to drift untethered, but I now have a purpose in everything I do.

—Unsent letter from Fan Enze to Fan Ruoze

Chapter 8

Meilin

Meilin made sure Ailin got plenty of alone time in the garden with Enze by posting Ming­ming and Begonia as scouts at key points in the house in case Fulan’s servants came to spy. The couple might not be aware of Meilin’s efforts, but good works brought their own reward. She knew Ailin would be much happier after talking to Enze, and, after all her sacrifices, Ailin deserved more happiness than anyone. If Enze could stand up to Fulan’s domineeringness after getting some encouragement from Ailin, that would be even better.

In the days following Ailin and Enze’s conversation in the garden, Meilin was happy to see Ailin’s mood lightening, but she was disappointed that nothing else changed. Ailin and Enze were both so quiet about their relationship that neither one confronted Fulan or Mama about the planned move to Suzhou.

About a week later, Uncle Meng arrived at Nuolan Garden.

Meilin waited anxiously in the front courtyard as the sound of men, carts, and horses grew louder. Junyou had gathered the whole family to meet Uncle Meng, whom he had last seen during Father and Mama’s wedding. Junyou had only been a child at the time. Back then, Mama and Uncle Meng were educated but poor orphans with few prospects. In the intervening years, Uncle Meng had become a matrilocal son-in-law, which was not very impressive, but he had helped his in-laws, the Jiang family, make a fortune in the silk trade, which was quite impressive.

When the gate opened for the visitors, Uncle Meng walked in with a dozen brawny but neatly dressed guards. He himself looked as dignified as could be in a fur-trimmed pīfēng cloak. Meilin was struck by how much he resembled Mama, except that he was younger, taller, and bearded.

“That man sure is showy for a zhuìxù,” Fan Fulan whispered to Junyou, who was only a few paces ahead of where Meilin waited with her mother and sisters.

Meilin stiffened in indignation, but to her surprise, Junyou whispered back, “He is one of the most successful silk merchants in Jiangnan, as well as a scholar who once passed the prefectural exams. We should try to make a good impression.”

Meilin swelled with pride. Junyou was not the most caring brother, but he was occasionally sensible. She hoped Fan Fulan was sufficiently humbled.

Fan Fulan curtsied silently when Uncle Meng approached.

Junyou bowed. “It is very kind of you to care for my stepmother and sisters, sir. Thank you for coming all this way to escort them to Suzhou.”

“Taking care of my own sister and nieces is no trouble at all.” Uncle Meng patted Junyou’s shoulder. “You’ve changed quite a bit since the last time I saw you, young man.”

Mama stepped forward. “Junyou has grown up well, hasn’t he? He looks like his father did at his age, and he’s a father himself now. You’ve changed as well, Jiehan. Look how tall you are!”

“And you’re as intent as ever on treating me like a child, jiě.” Uncle Meng talked to Mama like he had seen his older sister yesterday rather than decades ago. “Why did you not come join me in Suzhou earlier? Did you think my invitations were empty courtesies?”

Despite Uncle Meng’s teasing, Mama swept him into an embrace as if he was still the younger brother from her childhood rather than a middle-aged merchant who towered over her.

“I’m going to miss Junyou and little Heli,” Mama admitted after releasing Uncle Meng and stepping back.

Meilin winced at her sincerity. Despite how meagerly Junyou reciprocated her affection, Mama genuinely loved him as a son. She hadn’t told him about Fan Fulan’s rudeness, saying it wasn’t good to provoke fights between couples. Meilin doubted that Junyou would care much about women’s issues either way, but it didn’t matter now that they were leaving.

Ailin, Meilin, and Ming­ming were introduced to Uncle Meng in order from eldest to youngest. Then the work of moving commenced.

Uncle Meng’s men moved like fish through water between the horse-drawn carts by the front gate and the inner courtyard that held Meilin’s family’s belongings. The men’s efficiency in loading boxes onto carts showed extensive experience with loading and unloading cargo. Suzhou was said to be a city through which all the goods of the empire flowed, and after seeing Uncle Meng’s men in action, Meilin believed it. She didn’t yet know how she felt about moving to such a big city so far from home. Their pace of life was shifting very fast.