Page 20 of Silk and Sensibility

For once, his answer didn’t sound unsure at all.

Mama smiled, clearly pleased with his response, though still in a mood to tease. “I can’t guarantee that no others will ask for Ailin’s hand while you prepare your proposal, but I will say that I am disinclined to betroth her to anyone who will not treat her like the absolute treasure she is. I also won’t let her settle for marriage short of the full Three Letters and Six Rites. If you can promise that, then I can make sure she waits for you until the end of her mourning period for her father. However, I sincerely hope to hear good news from you before the end of that period.”

Enze bowed deeply. From his position of deference, he made a vow. “From this day on, I will try my best to make myself worthy of Miss Duan Ailin. You have my promise.”

“I said Uncle Enze should marry Auntie Ailin weeks ago,” Heli exclaimed excitedly. “Do I get a prize for being right?”

Everyone laughed. How Meilin had missed the sound. She was more satisfied than she had felt for weeks. Now, even if they still had to leave Nuolan Garden, at least they had Ailin’s betrothal to look forward to. Enze was timid by nature, so if he expressed his desire to marry Ailin—and in Mama’s presence—then it must mean he was serious. Such love was exactly what Ailin needed.

In the upcoming week, Meilin would make sure to carefully pack the umbrella Enze gave to Ailin when they first met. It would be the perfect token to return to them when they were united for good.

平日能與她娓娓而談，今日卻愛她在心口難開。

Talking with Miss Duan is usually easy but approaching her with such a shameless question feels different. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so nervous in my life. Words flee my mind when I merely think about asking her. I know you would tell me that real men are brave, but I argue that real men can be scared too when the stakes are this high.

—Unsent letter from Fan Enze to Fan Ruoze

Chapter 7

Ailin

Ever since Ailin found out that Fulan suspected her feelings for Enze, she tried her best to stay away from him, despite her heart longing to do the opposite. Over a month had passed, but the sting of Fulan’s judgment was as sharp as if it had been delivered yesterday.

Ailin could not stop feeling guilty about the trouble she had caused. A proper lady would never have allowed herself to get so close to a man before marriage. Fulan had gone too far by bringing up the matter with Mother in such an offensive way, but Ailin couldn’t deny her own culpability. She needed to make up for her mistake by focusing on the move to Suzhou. According to a letter from Uncle Meng a few weeks earlier, he would be arriving any day now.

Ailin checked the four boxes in her room again, patting the contents to assure herself that they were securely tucked away. The boxes contained all her belongings—mostly books and paintings, but also some colorful blouses and skirts she hadn’t worn since Father’s passing, along with a few pieces of jewelry hidden under everything else. If only her longing could be packed away as easily.

Ailin brushed away her useless thoughts as she reviewed the remaining tasks to be done before Uncle Meng’s arrival. Much of the list had been completed. A few weeks ago, she helped Mother send word to their closest friends about their upcoming relocation. When Nurse Liu heard the news, she had sent them two jars of preserved vegetables made with her own recipe, evidence that she was doing well in retirement.

Ailin’s debt to Uncle Chen was repaid too, technically. A few days ago, she had sent Begonia with the last of the eight paintings she’d promised her father’s old friend. Begonia said that Uncle Chen praised Ailin for her flawless execution of the artwork but had no news on whether Ailin’s earlier work had sold. Ailin worried whether Uncle Chen could recoup the amount he had paid her.

She had tried her best, but she didn’t know if her best was good enough. Uncle Chen once complimented her flower-and-bird paintings, so she had stayed within the same genre, depicting only plants and small animals she was able to observe in person. They were safe and suitable subjects for a young lady who rarely ventured outside the walls of her home. Ailin hoped that her conservative compositions would appeal to art collectors’ genteel sensibilities, but she didn’t know whether she’d made the right choice.

There was no time to fix things even if Uncle Chen deserved replacements. Suzhou was far away, and she doubted she could send paintings to Nanjing unless she found a reliable method for shipping.

She picked up a final item in her room. It was a painting for Uncle Chen, a gift outside of their deal. As insufficient as it was, the scroll in her hands would have to convey all her thanks and farewell wishes.

Ailin unrolled the painting to inspect it again. Ink and color on silk, the composition was modeled on a work of her father’s, the snowy mountain landscape from her dowry that she had tried to sell to Uncle Chen. Though Ailin had never seen any majestic mountains nor roaring rivers in person, the way Uncle Chen admired her father’s painting had made her want to replicate it for him.

Scanning over the piece, Ailin saw that her style fell short of her father’s in many ways—where he deployed confident, sweeping brushstrokes, she exercised an overcautious attention to detail. Nevertheless, this painting was the best she could do. In an intentional deviation from her father’s work, Ailin had added a man delivering charcoal through the snow, a visual rendering of the saying xuě zhōng sòng tàn. The dark briquettes in the man’s oxcart exuded warmth against the snowy white background. She hoped that Uncle Chen would understand her gratitude for how he had helped her during a difficult time even if her painting skills were lacking.

Ailin’s wooden doors flew open with a clack as Meilin came bounding in. Begonia followed in a more restrained manner.

“Eldest sister! You’re needed in the garden immediately,” Meilin announced with more flourish than urgency.

Ailin grew suspicious. “Why?”

Meilin crossed her arms in mock severity. “Enze is waiting for you by the gate of our courtyard.”

Ailin breathed in sharply to stem the sudden pain in her heart. “Tell him I’m unavailable at the moment.”

“You’re going to keep making excuses not to see him until the day we leave. I know it. That’s why I’ve recruited Begonia to help me,” Meilin said with a smile.

“Miss Meilin says I’m not allowed to tend to my other tasks until we bring you to meet Master Fan,” Begonia said apologetically.

Ailin frowned. It was unfair of Meilin to hold Begonia hostage in her scheme. In addition to being Ailin’s and Meilin’s companion since childhood, she was also the only maid from Nuolan Garden accompanying them to Suzhou, so Ailin could not afford to delay her work.

“What are you waiting for?” Meilin looped her arm around Ailin’s with a rustle of hemp fabric. She tipped her head toward Begonia as a signal for the maid to take Ailin’s other arm. “You’ll thank us after you talk to him. I’m sure.”