Page 20 of The Pakhan’s Heir

As she starts doing my hair, all I can think about is getting through this day. Earlier, when I woke up this morning, I did briefly debate having one more conversation with my father, but I thought better of it. This is supposed to be for the brotherhood. Duty, honor, loyalty, and all that.

At least I’ll look good as I throw my life away.

I keep replaying the ceremony in my mind.

The moment my father saw the red lipstick and my bare arms, his jaw clenched… but he said nothing. What could he say? What could he do? After today, I won’t even be living with him anymore.

That moment as I walked down the aisle was surreal. Every eye in the church was on me as I walked slowly down the middle aisle with my arm looped in with my father’s, my veil covering my face. The material gave the illusion that I could hide behind it and not notice the feel of scores of eyes all over me, but it was barely working.

I’d tried focusing on Alexandr, but…

I’m trying not to think of the rest. I swirl the wine around in my glass as the bass from the DJ booth thumps on and on. People are seated at their tables, drinking, talking, having a great time.

I can’t shake the one thought that has been echoing in my mind from the moment I saw Alexandr’s bored face as he stood at the altar. This should be one of the greatest days of my life.

It’s not. The one kiss we shared when it was all said and done felt more like a dental checkup than anything else. Cold, clinical, sterile. Ugh, I wish I could get out of here.

“Smile.”

I look up from my glass at Alexandr next to me. He’s not looking at me. He’s watching the room while he drinks. He’s been drinking a lot tonight.

“What?” I say.

“I said, ‘smile’,” he repeats. “This is your wedding day. Act like you’re happy to be here.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Everyone in here knows what the deal is. Why should I pretend?”

“Because it looks good,” he says. “You do want this to look good, don’t you?”

He side eyes me, but I can feel the heat coming off him. I have a feeling he’d love for me to give him a reason to lose his cool on me.

I manage a smile and sit up straight.

“There you go,” he says. “Have some more wine. Loosen up.”

Ugh. I really can’t wait for this night to be over.

I feel Alexandr shift in his seat. He downs his wine and takes my hand. “Come on.”

“What… What are you⁠—”

“We’re dancing,” he says. “Couples are supposed to dance at weddings, so let’s dance.”

As he pulls me to my feet, the music stops and the dance floor clears. Alexandr motions to the DJ with his hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the DJ says over the speakers. “Give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Molotov.”

Everyone claps. I feel like I’m going to die.

The lights dim and a spotlight comes on over us. Alexandr takes me in his arms and we sway to the music. I’m doing my best to keep my smile, but… he smells heavily of alcohol.

I don’t meet his eyes. I look around the room as we turn instead.

“Nona,” he says. “Look at me.”

I turn my eyes up to his. He does have really beautiful eyes. In this light, they shine like sky blue topazes. I find myself wondering what they might look like if he actually cared for me.

“Very good,” he says in a low, rumbly tone. I feel his hand move up my back as he presses my body against his. “Now you look more like my blushing bride.”