Page 99 of Fame & Chaos

Christ. I want her touching me like that.

“So, have you eaten?” I ask.

She nods and looks across at me. “Yeah, I had my dinner break at five.”

“Right, so you just want to go for a walk?”

She nods again, and I start the engine before heading toward the river.

The drive is mostly quiet, but the silence between us isn’t empty. The attraction pulses thickly through the car, almost tangible. I don’t know what she wants from this or where she sees it going, but I know one thing for certain…

If I don’t at least try to kiss her tonight, I’m going to hate myself for it.

I pull into the riverside car park and shut off the engine. The tension hanging between us is so thick it feels suffocating. Part awkwardness, part pure sexual frustration. Like neither of us knows what to say, but both of us are thinking about tearing each other’s clothes off.

Honestly, I have no fucking idea how to handle it.

I climb out of the car and walk around to open her door, but she’s already stepping out before I reach her.

Exhaling quietly, I place my hand against the small of her back as I catch up beside her, and she jolts beneath my touch as though I’ve shocked her. I drop my hand instantly and start walking toward the footpath running alongside the river. She falls into step beside me, matching my pace.

“So you wanted to talk? What’s with all the awkward silence?” she asks suddenly, breaking the weird tension between us.

I chuckle and glance across at her while she studies the pavement beneath her feet.

“I do want to talk. I just don’t know what you want to talk about.”

She looks up at me. “I guess things between us were left in a pretty bad place. I’ve missed you, and I know you’ve missed me too, judging by all the phone calls over the last six years—”

“Why didn’t you answer?” I interrupt before I can stop myself.

Her gaze drops straight back to the ground. “What was the point, Caleb? It doesn’t change anything. I don’t want a serious relationship, and you do. I can’t trust us together, and I definitely can’t trust you with all the women who are going to throw themselves at you from now on.”

“Indi, I know you don’t want a relationship. I get that. And I think it’s crazy to believe we’d end up like your parents, but I understand why you’re scared.” I stop walking and turn fully toward her. “As for other women… Indi, you’re the only woman in the world I want. If I were with you, my entire world would revolve around you. Not even six years apart has changed the way I feel about you.” She keeps staring at the ground. “Look, I don’t want to scare you off. I only just got you back in my life, and I’m not risking losing you again. I would never hurt you on purpose. You mean too much to me.”

She shakes her head slowly. “I can’t be who you want me to be, Caleb. I’m not built for relationships. And if I do get involved with someone, it’s never serious. Whatever you want from me… I can’t give it to you.”

“Then what about friendship?” I ask quietly. “Can you give me that?”

Finally, she looks up at me, swallowing hard. “I can try.” Then she turns and resumes walking.

I blink before a small smile tugs at my mouth, and I move to catch up beside her. “When you left… why didn’t you say goodbye?”

She exhales shakily. “I don’t want to talk about that, Caleb. It was a horrible time in my life.”

Stopping again, I reach for her hand to halt her. She huffs softly before turning back toward me. Taking both her hands in mine, I squeeze gently.

“I know, Indi. I know how horrible it was. I was there too. Talk to me. Tell me what happened and let me make us right again.”

Her fingers tighten around mine before she offers me a small, sad smile. “We’re doing okay as we are. We don’t need to drag up old memories tonight. Let’s enjoy this, okay?” She turns away, slipping one hand free while keeping the other tangled with mine. As she starts walking again, I expect her to let go completely. Instead, her fingers tighten and lace through mine.

A grin spreads slowly across my face as I walk beside her, holding her hand, thinking that maybe… just maybe… I might still get that kiss after all.

Chapter Seventeen

Caleb

We walk a little farther along the river until we find a small grassy patch beside the water and settle down together. The conversation slowly shifts away from all the heavy emotional stuff into something lighter, easier, more familiar.