Page 183 of Fame & Chaos

But I leave messages anyway.

Sometimes I tell her about my day. Sometimes I just say, “I love you.” Sometimes I beg her to call me back. Sometimes I don’t say anything at all and listen to her voicemail greeting because hearing her voice for three seconds is enough to keep me breathing for another hour.

I know Annie’s worried about me. Honestly, I think they all are. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’m holding myself together.

I need to see her.

It’s driving me fucking insane.

Right now I’m at the manor after rehearsals, tense as hell because we don’t have a show tonight, and that means too much free time to think. My skin feels too tight, like I need to crawl out of it or punch something or do literally anything to stop my brain from obsessing over Indi.

“Hey,” Aston says suddenly, tossing me a bottle of water. “Now that rehearsals are over, you wanna come back to my place for a guys’ night? You, me, Chad. We can do manly shit without these chicks for once.”

Annie scoffs loudly and slaps his chest. “Chicks? Is that all I am to you?”

“Yep,” Aston replies instantly. “Just some bird who won’t leave me alone long enough for guy time.”

Chad chuckles while Annie glares murderously at Aston.

“Mate,” Chad says wisely. “Everything you say will be used against you later. Be careful.”

“See?” Annie points dramatically. “Chad has his head screwed on. You should learn from him. Right, Caleb?”

I blink, realizing I’d completely zoned out. “Right. Yeah. Whatever.”

Aston studies me for a second before nudging my arm. “Come on, man. Guys’ night. We’ll cheer you up.”

I shrug half-heartedly. “I dunno. I just—”

“Oh, go on, cuz,” Annie interrupts. “It’s not often I let Aston off his leash. You’d be doing him a favor.”

They’re trying so hard for me that guilt twists through my chest.

“Guys’ night! Guys’ night! Guys’ night!” Chad suddenly starts chanting like an overexcited toddler.

To my horror, Annie and Aston join in immediately.

I shake my head, laughing under my breath at how ridiculous they all are.

“Come on, Caleb,” Aston says, slapping my shoulder. “Guys’ night.”

“Okay, okay,” I cave. “Guys’ night. But I’m hiring strippers.”

“What?” Annie screeches, glaring at Aston like this was somehow his fault.

“I’m kidding, cuz,” I say with a smirk.

She smacks me across the back of the head. “You suck.”

“That was the goal.”

She giggles despite herself while I wrap an arm around her shoulders and squeeze her tightly. She squeals dramatically.

“You better actually have fun tonight,” she warns Aston. “And make sure Caleb does too.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Aston replies with a mock salute.

After rehearsals finish, Aston rides back with me while Chad follows behind us. We pull up outside Aston’s parents’ manor, which is ridiculously huge in its own right, though not quite as massive or over-the-top as Colt and Dee’s place.