Page 129 of Fame & Chaos

“Indi said she doesn’t trust me,” I blurt out.

Sasha smirks again and runs her hand slowly up my bicep. “Well, maybe Indi’s got her head screwed on.” She leans in and kisses my cheek, but I barely register it.

“But the thing is, I love her, you know? I want to be with her. So why does she think I’d go after other women?” I turn to face Sasha properly.

She looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Caleb, if you love Indi, then why did you call me last night and again tonight? Can’t you see she’s right about not trusting you, especially when the first thing you do after things go wrong is call someone else?” Her hand moves higher on my thigh, but I ignore it and drag my fingers through my hair.

“But can’t she see I only want her? Last night I was drunk and hurt and horny, and Indi had just walked out, so I lashed out in a drunken stupor. That’s all it was. I was wasted, Sasha. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I’ve regretted it all day, especially after speaking to her. She doesn’t even know about you coming over last night, so what the hell makes her think she can’t trust me?”

Sasha’s hand keeps traveling up my thigh toward my cock, and it finally registers when she leans in to kiss me again.

I flinch back and shake my head. “Didn’t you just hear me?”

She sits back against the couch, her eyebrows pinching together. “You don’t want to fuck?”

I laugh because the idea is so ridiculous right now. “No, of course not, Sasha.”

“You just want to talk?”

Rolling my eyes, I nod. “Yes. I thought that was obvious?”

She slumps back and pulls her jacket on again. “Okay, well, I guess I can be an ear for you since you seem all out of sorts right now.”

I nod and start from the beginning…

I tell her how I met Indi, how she stood up for me that day at school, how we became best friends. How her parents died and how she came to live with us. I tell her about our first time, about Indi leaving, and about how lost I’ve been without her ever since. Then I tell her how Indi came back into my life and turned everything upside down in the seconds after seeing her again.

All those emotions are still there.

The love.

The need.

The ache.

I tell Sasha how badly I want to make everything right with Indi, how last night was a monumental fuckup, and how I needed to vent after Indi hung up on me and ignored my calls today. I don’t know how to fix any of this, and maybe Sasha, being a woman, can give me something useful. A perspective… anything. Some secret inside information on how the hell I’m supposed to make this right.

“Wow,” Sasha says when I finally stop talking. “You really needed to vent.”

Leaning back into the couch, I exhale, feeling strangely lighter now that I’ve let it all out. “So do you see what I’m dealing with?”

“Look, from what I can tell, Indi is scared. For some reason, she’s worried about you going to other women, and because of me, that fear is technically valid. Maybe she’s seen something or heard something before, Caleb, but either way, you need to prove to her that you’re capable of being a one-woman man.” She tilts her head. “If you love her like you say you do, would you really call me up for sex after nearly having sex with her?”

I frown. “Whether I love Indi or not isn’t even a question. Of course, I love her. I know I can be trustworthy if she commits to me, but she won’t commit because she thinks we’ll both end up dead. She’s so fucked up in the head,” I murmur, more to myself than Sasha.

“I think Indi probably knows her way of thinking isn’t normal. She needs help, that’s for sure. Seeing her parents die like that would damage anyone, but basing her whole life on what happened to them isn’t what she should be doing.” Sasha pauses, studying me carefully. “But I also think you two might not be healthy for each other. There’s so much history there. One thing I can tell, though, is that you love her. Or at least you think you do.”

“No.” I sit forward, and something sharp and certain clicks into place inside me. “I do love her, Sasha. With everything in me, I love her.”

And just like that, it’s like a light turns on in my head.

I have to fix this.

I have to make Indi see we can do this.

Losing her is not an option.

“Then you have to fight, Caleb,” Sasha says, standing. “As much as I’d like to keep you to myself, because let’s be honest, you’re wild in bed, but if you love Indi and she loves you, then you need to tell her. You need to fight for her and give it another go.” She walks toward the front door, and I stand as she opens it, then turns back to look at me. “Look after yourself, Caleb. I won’t lie and say I’m happy for you, because being used for sex and then used as a relationship counselor isn’t exactly my dream evening.” Her mouth twists into a small smile. “But I hope you get what you’re looking for. If it doesn’t work out, call me. I’ll see you around.”