Page 157 of Fame & Rhythm

“I don’t know what to do with you right now,” she continues, softer now but no less intense. “I’m so angry. But mostly… I’m just relieved you’re here.”

“I don’t even know how I got here,” I say, my voice trembling. “The last thing I remember is being at his flat, and then it just… stops.”

A flicker of memory pushes through.

The couch.

My shirt.

His hands.

I frown, trying to catch it before it disappears again.

Something isn’t right.

“Annie… were you with someone?” Mum asks carefully.

I nod.

“Who?”

I shake my head, my throat tightening. “I don’t know. It’s all… blurred.”

Her expression shifts, frustration creeping in. “Annie, can you remember anything at all?”

I close my eyes, forcing myself to go back, to try and piece it together.

At first, it’s nothing but flashes, movement, shadows, the sound of my own laughter. Then he comes into focus. His face. His hands. The room.

My chest tightens.

I see him moving around the room… pulling off his shirt. I remember the bed. Me, lying back, everything spinning.

A sharp inhale catches in my throat.

“What is it?” Mum presses. “What are you remembering?”

I open my eyes, panic rising fast now. “I… I think I slept with him.”

Mum exhales slowly, her shoulders dropping as she rubs a hand over her face. “Annie…” Her voice is tight. “Please tell me you were safe.”

I nod quickly, tears spilling over. “I think so. I remember… I think h-he…” My voice falters. “I think we were.”

She studies me for a moment, searching my face, then lets out a quiet breath.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mum,” I whisper, the words breaking as I cover my face with my hands. “I don’t even remember half of it.”

The tears come harder now, heavy and unstoppable.

“Oh, Annie… sweetheart, don’t cry,” Mum murmurs, pulling me into a tight hug. “I’m angry and hurt, and I don’t understand why you’d put yourself in this position… but I’m just so grateful you’re alive.”

“I’m such a fuck-up,” I choke out against her shoulder. “Why can’t I ever get anything right?” My chest heaves as another sob breaks free. “I miss Aston so much, Mum. He’s moved on, and I just… I just wanted to feel like someone wanted m-me.” My voice cracks completely. “I messed up. I messed up so badly.”

Mum tightens her hold on me. “Hey… we’ll get through this. We always do.”

I cry harder, everything spilling out at once. My heart is racing, my thoughts slipping, the edges of the room still not quite steady. The walls seem to shift, like they’re breathing with me, and I know it’s probably whatever’s still in my system, but it feels fitting.

“What did Dad say?” I ask finally, pulling back just enough to look at her. “Is he coming home?”