Page 117 of Fame & Rhythm

Her expression sharpens. “Did he hurt you? Use you?”

I shake my head. “No. He… he said he loves me.”

There’s a pause, and her brows furrow before she rubs my back slowly, like she’s trying to piece it together. “Okay… I might be missing something here,” she says carefully. “Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Don’t you love him?”

My chest tightens.

My stomach flips.

“I… I don’t know. Maybe. But that’s not the point. He said it… and it’s not true.”

“Annie…” she exhales. “I’m still lost.”

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, frustration bubbling up. “I thought you’d understand. How can someone love me? My birth parents didn’t love me enough to keep me, so why would anyone else?”

She frowns. “Mum loves you. Dad loves you. I love you. You don’t question that.”

“That’s different!” I snap, throwing my hands in the air.

“How?”

“Because you have t-to love me,” I say, my voice cracking. “You’re my family. You don’t g-get a choice. Aston does. And why would he ch-choose me?” The words tumble out before I can stop them. “I’m a mess. I’m moody, I’m angry, I’m selfish… half the time I don’t even like myself. So why would he? He wouldn’t. He’s lying to make me feel better, and I can see straight th-through it.” My voice breaks. “W-why would he lie to me, Ella?”

She stares at me for a second, then shakes her head. “You’ve got this completely twisted,” she says firmly. “Aston loves you. I’ve known for months. For years, even. This isn’t new… it’s just the first time he’s said it out loud.” I look away. “And stop dragging your birth parents into this,” she adds. “They don’t get to define what you’re worth. Not now. Not ever.”

I roll my eyes, though it lacks any real bite. “You don’t get it.”

“Yes, I do,” she shoots back. “You’re scared. That’s what this is.”

“I’m not fucking scared!”

She flinches slightly but doesn’t back down. “Then what is it?” she asks quietly. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’re terrified of someone loving you for real.” My chest tightens painfully. “Let Aston in,” she continues. “Don’t push him away like last time. You were miserable without him. And if you do this again… he might not wait for you this time.”

Jesus! Those words hit harder than anything else.

“I can’t,” I whisper. “I just… can’t.”

She pulls me into her side, rubbing my back as I cry. “You don’t have to decide anything right now,” she murmurs. “Just… think about it, okay?”

“I know what I’m thinking,” I mutter. “He lied. I can’t trust him. That’s it.” I push to my feet, but she grabs my arm and pulls me back into a tight hug.

I give in, collapsing against her. My legs give out, and we slide to the floor together, her holding me as I cry into her shoulder.

How am I supposed to do this?

Six months on tour, seeing him every day…

I can’t even think about it.

The kitchen door opens, and we both look up to see Mum standing there. Immediately, I bury my face into Ella’s shoulder.

“Girls? What’s going on?” Mum asks, walking toward us.

I sniff, quickly wiping my face. “Just… girl chat,” I say, trying for normal, but it comes out thick and broken.

She lowers herself to the floor beside us. “Annie,” she says gently.

I glance up, biting my lip to stop it from trembling.