Page 179 of The Encore’s Crown

The image rises too fast. Rithy’s blood on the floor. Dad’s boot connecting with his ribs. Ma screaming from somewhere behind me. I close my eyes. Natalia presses her forehead to my temple.

“You can stop.” I shake my head.

“I thought he was going to kill him.”

My voice breaks around the words, and I hate it. Hate that I can still feel sixteen inside me, all that rage and panic and helplessness.

“So I fucking stopped him.”

I flex my hand inside hers.

“I wailed on him. Just took everything he’d ever done and gave it back. He was still strong. Big guy. Military. He didn’t go down easy.”

I give a humorless laugh.

“But I had years of anger stored up. Every time he hit her. Every time he made Rithy feel weak. Every time I stood there knowing I wasn’t strong enough yet. I fucked my hands up really bad,” I continue. “I didn't know how to fight, how to throw a punch. I split them open. Broke a couple bones. Didn’t care. I just kept hitting him until he stayed down.”

I finally look at her. There’s no fear in her face or disgust to my surprise. Only concern so open that it nearly makes me look away again.

“He didn’t touch Rithy after that,” I say. “Not around me. Didn’t touch Ma either, at least not where I could see it. He knew I’d step to his weak ass. Knew I wasn’t someone he could throw around anymore.”

Natalia touches my face.

“You protected them.”

“I should’ve done it sooner.”

“You were sixteen.”

“I was bigger than Rith or Ma. I could’ve—”

“No.” Her hand slides behind my neck, holding me there. “You don’t get to blame that boy because the grown man in that house was a monster.”

The words land somewhere deep. I look down again.

“Ma still won’t leave him.”

Natalia’s thumb brushes beneath my eye although there’s nothing there. I can't let myself cry over him, it feels like a failure somehow. Like he gets another part of me he doesn't deserve.

“We bought her a house. Thought if she had somewhere safe, she’d finally get away. Instead she let him move in.”

“Oh, Kiri.”

“He drinks whatever money we give her. Still hits her, though she tries to hide it now.” My jaw locks. “She says she owes him because he got her out of Cambodia. Says he gave her a life here and her boys. Like that means he gets to spend the rest of it beating the shit out of her.”

Natalia curls into me, wrapping one arm around my waist.

“I hate going there,” I admit. “I hate looking at him. Hate how fast I become that kid again the second I walk through the goddamn door.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“It’s Ma’s birthday. She hardly sees us. She never gets anything nice for herself. It only happens if we do it. So we do it.”

Natalia studies my face.

“He’ll be there?”

“Probably. Might be at the bar if we’re lucky.”