Page 145 of The Encore’s Crown

“Think I fucked up.”

Her eyes close.

“Think I got scared and hurt you because I thought losing you on purpose would be easier than waiting for it to happen.”

Her fingers curl against the back of my neck.

“Think I haven’t stopped being obsessed with you for one fucking second.”

Her eyes open.

“And Radhika?”

“It's over. She knew.”

“She knew what?”

“That I’m falling for you.”

The words leave me before fear can get hold of them. She stares at me as every muscle in her body goes still.

“I didn’t know how to say it before tonight,” I continue. “Maybe I didn’t even know it myself. But I know now.”

A tear spills down her cheek. I wipe it away.

“I’m sorry.”

Her mouth trembles, and I see every doubt I’ve ever carried reflected in her eyes. The same doubt I felt outside the Malhotra estate. Before our first gig. Every time I stood between Rithy and the pricks who thought they could throw him around.

I know what that kind of fear does to a person. I want to tear it out of her before it has the chance to settle.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you're less than her. You’re not.”

“But—”

“You’re not.”

I kiss her forehead. Then the wet track beneath one eye. Then the other.

“I was looking backward because it was easier than admitting what I wanted was standing right in fucking front of me. Than facing the risks.”

Her hands tighten around my neck.

“What do you want, Kiri?”

“You.” No hesitation or excuses. “You, Nat.”

Her face crumples. Then she kisses me again, hard enough to drive me back half a step. I catch her around the waist, holding her against me while her mouth takes every apology I don’t know how to say. She kisses me until my lips ache. Until her tears mix with mine. Until neither of us can pretend this is just anger or lust anymore. When she finally pulls away, she keeps her mouth close to mine.

“You’re such an asshole.”

“I know.”

She kisses me again.

“I missed you.”

That reaches somewhere I can’t protect. I wrap both arms around her and pull her against my chest. She buries her face in my neck. For a moment, there’s no hunger in it, only relief. Her whole body trembles against mine as I hold her tighter.