Page 75 of The Wedding Favor

It wasn’t my kind of place, but it turned out after the three glasses of wine with dinner and the two Texas Mules under my belt, I liked a lot of things I didn’t normally like. Even Missy. Turned out Missy liked me, too, after a few cocktails. For some reason, neither of us could figure out why we didn’t like each other. It all seemed so foolish. Alcohol gave us so much clarity.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Missy said, throwing her arms around me. “I love you, Iris.”

“I love you, too.”

“I didn’t want Aidan to even invite you.” She blinked margarita-clouded eyes at me. “He’s always ‘Iris this’ and ‘Iris that’ and sometimes it… it feels like a competition or something. Do I measure up to Iris? I don’t. I’m a lot shorter than you.” She wobbled on her feet, and I put my hands on her shoulders to steady her. “Iris, I-I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“There was never a Western theme, but I told you there was and… and… I picked the naked dress for you to wear to the wedding. I know you hate it and so do I, but I just wanted to make sure you looked terrible, just really ugly, so everyone would think, ‘Why would Aidan have ever been interested in her?’”

I stared at her. “Oh.”

“All I want is Aidan to stop thinking about you.” She was full-on crying now, loudly. “I just wanted him to only think of me.”

“I don’t want him to think about me, either.” Now I was crying too, and somehow, then we were hugging and babbling over each other with more apologies and confessions and total nonsense.

People were looking at us. But we didn’t care if our mascara was running and our faces were blotchy. This was about friendship, dammit.

We finally got ourselves under control long enough for Missy to announce to the whole world that she needed to pee. It was on our way to the bathroom that the problem started.

The place was so packed, we were jostled and knocked around as we navigated the route to the bathroom. A man stepped right in front of us. He was enormous, not just tall, but hefty, too. Like O-line for the Oklahoma Stars huge. Missy ran right into the back of him, full body contact. She bounced off him and tumbled into me. I caught her before we both crashed to the ground.

Mr. Hefty turned around, his thumbs tucked into the loops of his jeans. He was scarier from the front. “What the hell?”

“Sorry,” Missy squeaked out, shrinking back. “I didn’t mean to. You just stepped right in front of me, and…”

Her voice trailed off and he took a lumbering step toward us. He bent down, way, way down, and put his face in Missy’s. “Watch where you’re going, you idiot.”

“Okay,” Missy whispered, visibly trembling.

Why was she apologizing to him? Just because he was bigger and stronger. Not today, Satan. With a growl, I stepped in front of Missy and pushed her behind me. Her bird-like body would probably break if he breathed too hard on her.

“Excuse me, but you stepped in front of us. You’re the one who needs to apologize, you jerk.” I crossed my arms and glared at him. “I’ll wait.”

“What did you say?” He’d been drinking, and judging by the glazed-over look in his eyes, he’d been doing a lot more than Missy and I had. Maybe on a typical day, he was a mild-mannered mail carrier or something. But right at this moment, he was nothing but a bully.

“Oh, you heard me. But let me say it again real slow. You”—I pointed at him—“need to apologize to”—I pointed behind me—“my friend.”

The people around us were staring now. The other women in our group had joined us, all of them watching the scene unfold with giant, glassy eyes.

“Lady, I don’t know who you think you are.” He took a step toward me. I swallowed but held my ground. “But you and your little friend need to get out of my way.”

I planted my feet. “No.”

He grunted and then… then… he put his hands on my shoulders, and he pushed. I caught myself before I fell. All the rage I kept bottled up inside took off its earrings and said, “Oh, no, he didn’t.”

Suddenly, I remembered that self-defense class Mae had made me take before I started college. We’d learned a few strategies to use if we were ever attacked. I grabbed onto the first one I could remember.

He bent down to yell at me again and without overthinking it, I lifted my elbow up and rotated my hips with as much momentum as I could get. By some miracle, I struck him right on the chin.

He fell like a log. Just dropped at my feet. I don’t know who was more surprised, me or him. He stared up at me in shock, one of his big, meaty paws rubbing his chin.

Behind me, the bridal party cheered and a few other people clapped. Mr. Hefty got his voice back and began to curse up a storm. Missy marched up to him. She lifted her foot and stomped down on his, ahem, family jewels. He howled and curled into the fetal position. “Now who’s sorry?”

She turned to me and we high-fived like two feisty women in a movie who’d just taken down the bad guy.

Anyway, that’s when security arrived.