Page 53 of The Do-Over

a hat for every head

And an ass for every saddle.”

—MIMI

“You did what?” Mathias stared at me with amusement.

“I told them all I was seeing someone.” I paid close attention to the off-white wall behind his head. It was a Thursday evening, and we were at Hope House for one of Stella’s weekly meetings for volunteers, and apparently, I was now an official volunteer. After Mathias begged me to come back to help with another class, I’d found myself looking forward to it.

Plus, Bria and I had forged a friendship. Maybe friendship wasn’t the right word. More of a grudging respect for each other. We’d emailed each other back and forth in the beginning and she’d asked me questions about job applications and advice on interviews. Before long, I was volunteering to help her study for her high school equivalency test to get her GED. In fact, after this meeting, we would be getting together for a torture—er, tutoring session.

Stella shoved a flyer in my hand and then one in Mathias’s. I studied it. “Bowling night fundraiser?”

But Mathias wasn’t distracted. He leaned closer and whispered, “You lied?”

“I wasn’t planning on saying it. It sort of slipped out.”

His shoulders shook as he tried to rein in his laughter.

I scowled. “Hey, best friend, you aren’t supposed to laugh at me.” I pointed at the front of the room where Stella now stood. “Pay attention.”

Meetings at Hope House were quick and dirty. Stella didn’t like to lecture. She called them “weekly status reports”, and strongly recommended all volunteers and any of the ladies who could make it attend.

“One of the women’s uncles owns a bowling alley, and he’s giving us fifty per cent profit. We can always use money.” She jammed her ever-present clipboard under her arm and flicked up a finger as she listed off our deficits. “I have a waitlist a mile long for tutoring, employment counseling, parenting classes, food pantry, all of it. You name it, we could use more of it.”

As she explained the details, Mathias leaned over and whispered, “You’re a terrible liar. No way your mom bought it.”

“She’s texted or called me at least twenty-three times a day to remind me she can’t wait to meet him.” I dropped my forehead to the tabletop. “I told them it was my neighbor.”

Stella rapped her knuckles on the same table and raised her voice. “So, invite all your friends. Invite people you don’t like. I don’t care, as long as they pay.”

But Mathias was undeterred. “The construction worker with the kid? I’m sure Roberta is having heart palpitations as we speak.”

I groaned. “I haven’t even told her that part and anyway, it doesn’t matter because I’m not actually dating him.”

The door creaked and heavy footsteps crossed the room. I didn’t even lift my head. “Hi, Bria.”

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked as she sprawled in the chair next to me.

“Yes, what is wrong? Please share with all of us,” Stella said, arching a dark eyebrow.

“She made up a pretend boyfriend and now her mom wants to meet him,” Mathias announced, drawing more than a few chuckles.

I smacked his shoulder. “Shut up!”

Bria snorted. “I know some guys I could hook you up with. My assistant manager at work just got his car out of impound this week and his license is only suspended for another couple of months.”

At least someone could joke about this.

“Now that we’ve gotten all that taken care of, I have a couple of announcements and then you can be on your way.” Stella studied her clipboard. “The bathroom on the east side of the building is closed forever, or until I can find a plumber willing to do a little pro bono work. We’ll see which one comes first.”

Mathias bumped me with his shoulder. “Hey, maybe your new boyfriend can fix pipes. Isn’t he good with his hands?”

I shot him a dirty look.

“And last…” Stella said, with a dirty look of her own directed at Mathias. “Ladies, if you haven’t turned in your progress reports, I need them by end of day tomorrow. Thank you, volunteers, for all your help. Hope House keeps going because of you all. And that’s as sappy as I get.”

With that, she stomped out of the room and almost everyone followed. I rose to escape while I could, but a hand clamped on my arm and pulled me back into my seat.