Page 37 of The Ashborn

Why won’t you talk to Connak about these nightmares? Ruva whined, pancaking her body out of the shadows and over to her feet.

I want to move on. We came here to live, remember? Not to be stuck.

A black shadow appeared in her path. At first, it had no form, a mere darkness shading the alleyway. As it took shape, black ink spilled across the void, slipping and sliding until it slowly formed clothing, then skin. Kienna’s heart lurched into her throat as she thrust her fist into it. Tislin appeared in full form, blocking her attempt.

His presence would have provided relief if she hadn’t suffered the shadows in her dreams—shadows that were so incredibly similar to Tislin’s. She panted, then lunged again. Tislin dodged, annoyingly smooth in his motions. Kienna desperately needed to hit something, needed to release the tension squeezing her chest, and assert control over something—anything—in her life. Tislin, moving away with such ease, left her with a searing anger in her body that only grew.

She pushed forward. Tislin pushed back. Fighting him was not like fighting anyone else. At times, he had a physical form, and at others, he used shadows to appear a few steps behind her. But he didn’t stop her. He let her go until she couldn’t anymore. She landed on the ground, staring at the bright cobblestones underneath her.

Tislin sat. “Connak called for me early this morning. Care to explain?”

“No,” she said, pressing her cheek into the stone. Warmth collected from the sun flowed through Kienna’s face. “How do I fight a shadow?”

“With light,” Tislin said bluntly.

She couldn’t see his face, but she imagined it held amusement. Kienna pushed herself from the stone, shifting until she faced him. “I was tortured by shadows in Vaerin’s dungeons once. They choked me, suffocated me until I thought I was drowning, but there was no water.”

“Vaerin can command the Shades?” Tislin’s brow cocked, and his mouth parted.

Kienna ran her hands over her face. She must have looked awful after the crazed night of trying to escape it all. “If Shades are the shadow creatures, then he has a few.”

“These are things you need to be telling Connak,” Tislin said. His voice carried a stern disappointment that nearly made Kienna lash out again. She didn’t have the energy, so she held it in. “So, why don’t you?”

“I’m tired of appearing so broken—especially to him. All he can see are pieces of me.” Kienna shook her head, staring up into the sky. “I’d rather learn how to fight the shadows, not talk about them.”

Tislin exhaled deeply through his nose. “I can help you, but I do not know what good it will do. No one has defeated one.”

Kienna wanted to ask him more, like how he became a master of something no one could defeat. Was he a Shade? How did it all work? Those details were intimately interwoven into Tislin, and she didn’t intend to show him the bits of her she wanted to keep hidden. Instead, she stood from the ground, helping Tislin up. They needed to get back to Calder before Moira and Elowen had to entertain him any further.

Tislin opened the door for her. Before she entered, she touched his shoulder. “Can your shadows help build a ship?”

“No,” he smiled. “But I can. And my section of the Blades, if you need it.”

“You sure?”

“If you talk to Connak about your nightmares.”

Kienna pursed her lips together and cut her gaze from him. She didn’t want to keep circling the nightmares, but if getting Tislin’s help meant opening up to Connak, she’d do it. The woodcarver tugged on her heart. Hard enough to let Tislin manipulate her.

She moved up the stairs and back into the apartment. Clanging burst from the washroom. Moira and Elowen were barely visible from the door, but they were moving frantically. Where was Master Calder?

Kienna found him in the washroom, where he sat limply on the floor near the privy. “What happened?” she asked, checking his forehead for a fever.

“His body is detoxing,” Elowen answered, feeding her mouse a seed from her pocket. “Drank himself silly for twenty years; he was bound to get here eventually.”

“He looks like he’s dying,” Moira said, rushing a washcloth over Calder’s neck.

Master Calder trembled. He placed his shaking hand on Kienna’s shoulder and attempted to whisper something. Kienna asked Moira for water, but he shook and knocked the cup out of her hand, spilling its contents all over the floor.

Kienna shifted back to the woodcarver. “What’s your problem?”

“Get me my rum,” he whispered.

Kienna crossed her arms, looking back at Elowen. “Is that a good idea?”

Elowen snorted. “I’d say no, but he must decide that for himself. I’ve got to get going, girls. Please do stop by in a few days. I’ve got things that will help him if he decides to quit.” She left them to it.

Tislin brought more water, which he set aside in case Calder decided he wanted to lash out again. Kienna brought her knuckles to her mouth, resisting the urge to chew on her nails. She considered wearing gloves to keep them from getting worse.