Page 131 of The Ashborn

Connak sat on the navy couch staring at a broken board. “I can’t make excuses for it, Kienna. We shouldn’t have left. Tristian wouldn’t have, but…” He fluttered his eyes to process whatever thoughts rolled in his head. “We were too consumed with everything else. War brings out the worst in us.”

“What do we do now?” she asked.

“What we came here to do. We’ll send soldiers, I promise, but we need to go back.”

Kienna growled an exhale. “What if I don’t become who you’re hoping I will?”

“We’ll see,” he laughed.

The way he sat there so casually infuriated Kienna. How could he not feel the weight of her turmoil? The struggles? She didn’t intend on being a queen of anything—Trinity or the Ashes. She didn’t want to be Kalyra of Belok. She wanted to be Kienna of nothing. When she became nothing, maybe she could become something. It made sense in her head, but she figured she wouldn’t share it with Connak.

You’ve always been something, Ruva huffed, stalking out of Moira’s room.

Anything I am is tainted by River Storm.

Ruva walked to Kienna and licked at her hands, her silver eyes glancing up cautiously. Have you ever thought he tainted you because you are special?

Kienna was told she was special her whole life, while the rug under her was always ready to be pulled. King Vaerin gave her the Starborn role and had Dren force her to do vile things like burn a woman’s arm to get her to comply with her execution. Outside of his grasp, Kienna’s trauma nearly swallowed her whole. Coming out of it felt impossible.

“You’re not tainted,” Connak said, leaning back on the couch to close his eyes.

Oh. Can he hear me? Ruva’s shock matched Kienna’s.

“When Kienna’s mind hangs wide open, I can.”

Kienna looked to Ruva. How often did she leave her mind open for him? There were times she was aware of his presence, and she closed herself off, but was she an open book if she didn’t actively shut him out? The thought scared her. What could he hear when she didn’t hide herself from him? She thought back to Danek, her cheeks flushing with heat.

Ruva lowered her head. I’m insulted that we haven’t spoken before now.

Connak smiled. “We shouldn’t be speaking in her mind if we want her to keep us around.”

Kienna shut it down, pushing him out. He sat up and rubbed his hand over his face before standing to look out the terrace. Near the doors sat a pile of books shuffled around the floor—the ones she took from Elowen. She tidied the area, stacking each book on top of the other. The last cover caught her attention. One about spells outside the normal realm of magic. The book whispered to her, a darkness that wasn’t there before. Kienna looked out to the terrace where Connak remained, staring out at sea.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Little Flame.

It’s only a book. She opened it and flipped through the pages. There were spells in there to conjure shadows, summon curses, and shade tethers. Kienna lingered on the shade tether. It spoke of tethering one to another through darkness. As she read, it sounded like the bonds Connak spoke of, but more volatile. It allowed a person to bind themselves to the deepest roots of another, something only the power of Sinmara could accomplish. Power that was granted to the Shades.

Who is Sinmara? Kienna asked.

Ruva stared blankly ahead, keeping watch for Connak.

Good girl. She pushed her ash-laden hair over her shoulders and continued reading. This is interesting, she said again as she skimmed over bits of information on breaking bonds. Only the source that tethers two entities together can break it. Otherwise, the tether is permanent.

Kienna clutched onto that, though she wasn’t sure she could do anything about it unless she found the source of the bond itself. A flicker of guilt seeped in at the thought. At first, she thought about the bond with Vaerin, but if the magic applied to the darker tethers, perhaps it would apply to the tethers that bound her to Tristian and Connak. She could rid herself of all the bonds she didn’t choose for herself.

She flipped the page to clear her thoughts. There were other spells and tips on wards. Kienna skimmed it, learning only bits of information about forming, strengthening, and breaking barriers.

Times up, Ruva said.

Kienna closed the book and stuffed it under the others before Connak turned to walk back inside. “Find anything interesting?” he asked.

Kienna busied herself with the other books. “I was trying to clean up for Moira.”

Connak picked up the first book on top, which was, luckily, no longer the spells. “Care to learn about the Edranic language?”

She studied the old leather cover. “Do people still speak it?”

Connak opened it without answering. The pages crackled at his touch, brittle with age. Dust stirred, clogging the air with the scent of ink, parchment, and old memories. “Your name is in here,” he said casually.