Page 530 of Lessons in Cruelty

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Stab. Stab. Stab.

Up close, I can hear the hiss-sigh of the ventilator strapped over Ezra’s mouth. It’s the kind with a tube going down his throat, even though I’m pretty sure the nurse said they’re keeping him sedated, not that he’s in a coma or anything.

I lick my lips. Swallow. “I know I overreacted, bro. But fuck it, you didn’t need to do that to her.”

My throat is getting tighter with every word, like someone’s shoving a tube down my trachea too. But the fear is being shouldered aside by something else.

“And what about all that intern bullshit, huh?” My voice is shaking now, and even staring at Ezra’s swollen face, I can’t suppress the fury rising inside me. “That shit funny to you, bro?”

I widen my eyes, my breath catching with a guttural sound.

Did…did Ezra’s eyelid just flicker?

I stare at him for a second. Stare hard.

Hiss. Sigh.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Must have been my imagination.

“Everyone thinks I’m the asshole,” I tell him, leaning in even closer. “But we both know that’s bullshit.”

Hiss.

Sigh.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“You’re the fucking asshole. You. But no one’s gonna know, are they? That’s what’s so great about a having a little brother who always keeps his mouth shut, right? But guess what, bro? I’m sick of it. All of it. You crossed a fucking line.”

It’s liberating getting this stuff off my chest.

Best part? Ezra can’t argue, can’t overpower me, can’t do shit.

He just has to take it.

Like I’ve taken it, all these fucking years.

“And don’t get me started on that gangbang bullshit with Haven.” My chest is so tight my words come out in a croak. “The fuck is wrong with you, huh? Was that just supposed to be another prank, like the internship stuff? Or were you trying to get back at me for all the times I ran off to the woods and left you home alone with Dad?”

Beep. Beep—Beep

I laugh, but nothing about this is even remotely funny.

“That’s what this is, isn’t it? Revenge? Playing the long game, huh? First, you forced me to join your circle jerk of a frat. Then you lie to me about a job, because you know that’s the only fucking reason I’d put up with your bullshit day in and day out. What better carrot than a chance to get out of this turd mine of a town?”

I put my face so close to Ezra’s, I can smell the stench of unwashed skin and disinfectant soaked into his body.

beep—beep—beep

“I came here because I felt fucking guilty. Guilty! But you know what? Friday night was when I saw things clearly for the first fucking time in my life. All it took was a little molly to put it all in perspective, bro.”

“I hope you die in this bed, you motherfucker.”

The last is a bark filled with malice and hate, easily loud enough to carry to the door.