Page 506 of Lessons in Cruelty

I want my voice to be strong and malicious, but I’m breathless after all that struggling. I sound pathetic, and I hate myself almost as much as I hate him.

And I don’t like the way he’s staring at me, like he’s trying to decide if he should punish me, or throw me out.

I don’t want him to do either.

I want him to fight back.

He glances at the black notebook I dropped on the bed. His eyes slide closed, a frustrated groan croaking out of him. “I fucking knew I⁠—”

“Shouldn’t have gone through my stuff? Yeah, you fucking cockroach, it’s called privacy. Ever heard of it, you fucking loser?”

He laughs. “You’re one to talk.”

I scowl at him. “You don’t get to reverse Uno this shit, asshole.”

“Don’t I?” He glances over at his bookshelf. “So you weren’t going through my things?”

“I was laughing at your incel pamphlets, not breaking into your car!”

“The door was open!” Kai grabs my face, squeezing like he wants to crush my jaw.

It hurts like hell.

But I like it.

His voice changes from a yell to a hiss. “I was making sure you hadn’t left money lying around for someone to steal!”

“Ha, please!” I scoff. “You know I don’t have any money.”

“Okay, fine, Haven!” His eyes squeeze shut, and he shakes his head from side to side like he can’t believe he’s admitting this to me. “I was mad at you. So I broke into the Land Rover and went through your stuff. And I took your stupid book. So what?”

“Was that before or after you jerked off in the console?”

His mouth opens, such deep shock on his face, it’s almost comical. Like he’d forgotten about it. Maybe he has multiple personalities or something, because he doesn’t seem to remember half the shit he does when he gets mad at me.

“Are you seeing someone, babe?” I ask him. Sweetly, because I genuinely care. “Because a therapist could really help with⁠—”

I guess Kai’s sick of telling me to shut up, so he drops onto one hand, and forces all four fingers of the other one inside my mouth. His thumb pushes against my top teeth, so even when I try to snap down on his hand, I can’t.

“We’ve both made mistakes,” Kai whispers as he leans down closer to me. “But I swear to you, Haven, I did not look inside that book.”

His gaze drops to my lips, eyes heavy-lidded now as he forces his fingers in so deep I gag violently.

“If you can’t take my fingers, Heavenly, how you gonna take my cock when I shove it down your throat?”

“Mm!” I squirm and tug my head, but I can’t get free.

“I wanted to read it,” he breathes, ignoring my struggles as he watches his fingers fill my mouth, an almost fanatical light in his eyes.

“Fuck,” he breathes, warm air washing over my lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to…”

I can taste his flesh, feel the press of his fingers against the back of my throat. Hardly any air is getting into my lungs, and yet all I can think about is how hot it would be if he was doing this while he fucked me.

And God, how I hate myself right now…because that’s exactly what I want him to do.

I’m seconds away from bucking my hips, moaning, doing anything I can to signal to him I want his cock inside me when the door opens.

A lanky guy in a white-and-blue striped button-up shirt and khakis so carefully pressed his legs look geometric, stares at us from the doorway.