Page 88 of Before We Break

♫ Please - Noah Kahan

NOAH

Sometime in the night, I wake with Clio in my arms and her soft breaths teasing my bare skin. We must’ve fallen asleep shortly after her third orgasm.

Closing my eyes, I inhale against the back of her head, getting a hit of that now-familiar orange blossom scent. I should leave, but I can’t seem to make myself let go. I want to lump her in with every other situationship and one-night stand I’ve had and pretend like I don’t feel anything outside of overwhelming sexual attraction, but that’s becoming impossible.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

I wasn’t supposed to catch feelings, but like a runaway train, I’m helpless to stop it. There’s just something about her I can’t resist.

I’m addicted.

Maybe I’m not so different from my brother after all.

I feel better now that she knows about my sexuality. She might not be ready to try anything new, but I’m more than happy to take things at her pace. Fucking her is a goddamn privilege I never thought I’d get to experience.

I press my lips to her bare shoulder, my mind replaying every gasp and moan like my personal soundtrack. My cock begins to stir. I shift away so I don’t wake her, and that’s when I see more of those faint white scars that she has on her belly, only they’re longer and more pronounced across her back. They’re old, that much is clear.

I trace one of the more prominent lines.

“My god,” I whisper into the darkness. “Who did this to you?”

“My stepdad.” Her voice is so quiet, I could easily convince myself I imagined the words, but there’s no mistaking those anguished green eyes as she rolls to face me. “It was a long time ago. Before I ran away from home.”

I don’t know why I didn’t make the connection sooner. Clio is Callie’s sister. It makes sense that she would have scars to match. Two years ago, I listened to Callie’s story as I tattooed a bluebird on her sternum. It was harrowing then, and now…

Now I want to burn the world down for them.

“Why did you run away?”

“Rodney—that’s my stepdad—he found out I was pregnant, and that was the last straw. If I stayed, he would’ve killed us.”

“What about Lexi’s dad? Did he know?”

“He’d already moved on by then, and he made it pretty clear he didn’t want anything to do with us, so I made the decision to raise her on my own.”

“That’s a helluva choice to make at that age.”

She nods. “But I’d do it all over again to have Lexi.”

“So, the nightmares…”

“Rodney. Mostly. Sometimes it’s my mom or the day we lost Aunt Penny. But it’s mostly him.”

“I’m sorry.” The words hold little meaning, but I don’t have anything else to offer her.

I wish I had her strength. You’d never guess how much she’s endured by looking at her. She walks through life like a beacon of joy, but underneath it all is a person who’s known great pain and persevered. I’ve done the opposite. I wear my damage like a shield, impenetrable if not for the woman in my arms.

“It’s all in the past.” She nuzzles closer, running her finger down the wing of the luna moth that spans across my entire chest. “What does this one mean?”

I could lie and tell her the tattoo is meaningless, but honesty is the least I can offer after everything we’ve shared. “Luna was my mom’s name.”

“Oh.” Her expression shifts from curiosity to sympathy. “It’s a beautiful tribute. Is the shop named after her, too?”

“Yeah.” I run my fingers through her hair and close my eyes. “She would’ve adored you.”

She gives me a hopeful smile, chipping away at what’s left of my defenses. “Really?”