Page 21 of Before We Break

I don’t know what to say to that, so I don’t say anything, and Janet doesn’t rush to fill the silence.

I stand and straighten my jacket. “Auggie,” I call out. “Time to go.”

He walks over to the bench with his face scrunched. “I don’t wanna go.”

“It’s time for dinner, and you’re gonna need a bath.”

He crosses his arms and stomps one foot. “No. I’m not leaving.”

“It’s cute that you think you have a choice. Come on.”

I squat low and pick him up. He squirms to be let down, but I hold firm, striding away from the park with Auggie kicking and screaming in my arms. I wouldn’t put it past one of the townies to call the cops on me for kidnapping at this point.

Halfway down the block, I realize I rode my bike here. I’ll have to come back and get it later. It’s for the best. Even if I didn’t have Auggie, I shouldn’t drive when my emotions are riding me this hard.

Just as we’re turning onto our street, Auggie lets out a stuttered breath and rests his head against my shoulder, all of the fight having fled his tiny body. Emma used to get the same way when she was tired. I never thought I’d be the adult in this situation.

When we get back to the apartment, I set Auggie on the couch, take off his cochlear implants, lay him against the pillows, and sit at his feet.

“Are you ok?” I sign to the best of my limited ability.

He nods and slowly blinks his eyes shut.

I drape a blanket over him and affectionately run my hand over his head, sinking back into the cushions. It feels all too familiar, only this time I’m not tossing a blanket over a strung-out Jonah laid out on this very same couch and staying up late to make sure he’s still breathing.

In a way, it’s worse. Auggie is a living, breathing reminder of how I failed my brother. With the distance between us, I could imagine Jonah was somewhere living his life to the fullest with a family he loved, not rotting away in a jail cell.

Now, I wake every day to the evidence that my brother is lost to me, walking around my apartment like an echo of the boy he used to be when we promised we’d always look out for one another, and never, ever become our parents. Only one of us kept that promise.

FIVE

THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH

♫ Crush - Jennifer Paige

CLIO

I hobble through the library doors with one leg in a brace, slumping against the front desk where Callie is busy scanning a stack of books from the return cart.

“How’s your ankle?” she asks without looking up.

A frown forms on my face. I didn’t tell anyone about the accident. It only happened yesterday, and I haven’t had the chance to bring it up. “What do you know about it?”

She eyes me over the glasses perched on the tip of her nose, leaning into every librarian stereotype. “I work with Janet. I know everything.”

“It’s fine. A little swollen and definitely the wrong color, but I’ll be good as new in a week or two.”

Contrary to what I told Noah, I did, in fact, see a doctor when the size of my ankle doubled, and the lavender hue turned deep purple.

“Is Lexi here?”

She smirks. “Changing the subject? You wouldn’t be avoiding the elephant in the room, would you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Babe, half the town heard about Noah carrying you into the shop like a damsel in distress. Did he ‘give you something for the pain?’” She chokes on the last word, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Ha ha. Very funny. He ruined my favorite pair of jeans.”