Page 60 of Finding Redemption

“Did you want it? I mean, was it okay?” I struggle to find my words, and her mouth twitches. She completely undoes me.

“I’d be open for you to do it again.” Her eyes burn into my soul.

My nostrils flare at her admission. Leaning in, I run the tip of my nose along her jaw. “In case you didn’t know, I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Ya know, practice.”

She tips her chin to me, laying her cheek against mine. “Practice is good.”

“Reese, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I’m crazy about you.”

“Really?” The corners of her eyes crinkle with a shy grin.

“Yeah, I don’t know what in the hell to do about it.” My chest constricts when the words fall from my mouth.

“What do you mean, Walker?” She lifts her eyes to mine; her beauty leaves me breathless. Her green eyes see beyond what others see.

“I’m drawn to you. I fight the urge to take you in my arms every day. And as much as it hurts me to stay away from you, the pain it would cause to be with you is too great.”

She pushes away from me. A shudder runs down my spine from the loss of heat. It wasn’t just her body that made me warm. “There isn’t anything about what you said that I understand.”

“You don’t want me, Reese. No one needs me in their life. No one who’s good to the core, like you. You deserve a love of your life, not a life of anguish.” Her face goes ashen, and my heart breaks into a million pieces.

“Why can’t you just admit how you feel? This little game you think is so funny—isn’t. It’s demeaning and deplorable.” I reach for her, but she jerks away, hurrying to her Jeep. She slams the door, throws it into gear, and leaves me in a cloud of dust.

I hang my head in disgust. “Well, Walker. You fucked that up pretty damn good.”

I wander over to my truck, sitting in it for a while before I start it up and head down the road. I need a drink. I flip on the signal light, and my phone buzzes. I look down to see it’s Riley. Just the man I need. I hit answer.

“Hey, brother.”

“What’s up?” Riley’s scary intuitive.

“I keep fucking up.”

“Man, you need to give yourself a break.” His voice lowers as if he’s speaking to a child.

“No, I don’t. I need to stop wrecking every damn thing in my life.”

“So stop.” The knots in my stomach hurt. “Let things happen the way they’re supposed to, man. Let it come to you and don’t hold on so tight. If it stays, good. If it washes away with the tide, so be it. If there’s one thing I know, you can’t control love.”

I clench the steering wheel, trying to steady my breathing. “Ain’t that the fucking truth.”

“It is. If given the opportunity to control their lives, I don’t know a single living person who wouldn’t jump at the chance. But that isn’t living. It’s surviving. You deserve more than to just make it. You have every right to love.”

I hold back the tears before answering him. “Aren’t you the little brother?”

“Yeah, but you know you fuckin’ wish you were me.” He chuckles.

“I couldn’t be the younger one if I tried.”

“Damn right.” We laugh. “Ava wanted me to tell you we’re having Thanksgiving dinner here this year.”

“Shit. Is it already Thanksgiving?”

“Next week.” He pauses. “There’s room for one more.”

“Huh! Fat chance of that happening. I fucked it up about an hour ago.”

“You never know until you try. Let’s get together this weekend and work out the bachelor and bachelorette party details,” he says.