Page 144 of Finding Redemption

“I know,” I say, setting it down on the table. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I think I may ask for something to help me sleep.”

“Or valiums. They’re good and you need them.” He narrows his eyes at me.

“Alden,” I turn around, facing him, “if I thought in my heart of hearts Walker and I could work through this, I would flat-out run to him. Do you understand? Do you think I would rather live without him? No, I wouldn’t choose this, not after knowing him the way I do. He will always own me.”

“What’s so bad that you can’t work out?” He spins on me, his face red. “He loves you like nothing I’ve ever witnessed before, Reese. I don’t understand.”

“He won’t, trust me.” I wave him off. “Give it a few weeks, and he won’t love me anymore.”

“Why? Tell me something, anything. He’s lost without you and you are, too.” Alden’s face pinches up, his pain for Walker evident.

As if I couldn’t feel worse.

“I made a promise. I have to keep it.” I shrug, wiping my face dry.

“Oh, okay. I’ll tell him, your conviction in keeping a promise to a dead man that never did a damn thing for you is more important than your love for him. Makes perfect sense, I got it.” He springs from his seat, slamming his things into the sink. “And when you go tomorrow, tell them you’re batshit crazy.”

I watch as my best friend walks out on me and rightfully so.

“Reese?” Doctor Perri jerks me from my thoughts. My eyes flicker to hers, and I offer a weak smile. “How are you?”

“Good. Not sleeping much.”

She begins her exam, checking the basics. “Any reason you’re not sleeping?”

I lick my dry lips. “Work. I work a lot. My dad passed away a few weeks ago.” I try not to focus on the main cause. I dry my sweaty palms.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Reese. I thought you were going to say a man but not for that reason.” She pauses. “Lie back, please.”

I throw my arm over my head, hiding my tears behind it. Geez, could I not be so emotional all the time?

“It is because of a man.”

“Losing your father is a traumatic experience for the best of us,” she says, offering a tissue as she concludes my breast exam.

“I wasn’t close to him. It’s an excuse for the real reason.” I grind my teeth from the pain in my chest.

“Oh, okay.” She taps my leg, signaling me. “You have a lot going on.”

“Yeah, about that, I was wondering if I could get something to help me sleep?”

She pulls her glove off, handing me a towel. “Let’s do a few tests and I’ll see if I can find you something.” She hesitates at the door. “When was your last appointment?”

“Oh, God.” I rack my brain. “I have no clue, I had to reschedule.” I shrug with wide eyes.

“Your last cycle?” She asks with raised brows.

“I should know this,” I bite my lip, searching the calendar on my phone. “I’m not sure.”

She nods her head. “Sit tight. A nurse will be with you soon,” she offers me a tight smile before the door closes.

I jump from the bed, cleaning up. I wait for the nurse who shows up with a million vials and a cup. Have I mentioned I hate going to the doctor? They poke and prod you, making you uncomfortable. All I want is to sleep. After waiting what feels like a million years, Doctor Perri joins me again.

She sits down at the small desk, spinning her seat toward me. “All right, Reese, you’re pregnant. So naturally, I can’t give you a sleeping aid. I’m going to give you some vitamins. We’ll need to schedule an ultrasound. As far as I can tell, you’re about twelve weeks but I could be off a little. I went by what you told the nurse was your last cycle. You’ve had a lot going on and you’re late for your shot.”

The room spins. I hold my hand up to stop her. “Wait.” I struggle to breathe before going on. “What are you saying?”

Her forehead creases. She rolls closer to me, taking my hand. “You’re going to have a baby. Which surprises me you haven’t been sleeping. It’s usually one of the first signs.”