Page 76 of Absolution

“Who had the right to decide for me? Who among you would’ve chosen this? My brothers! My brothers!” My back bows, fury rages through me as I pound on my chest. I’m utterly vexed at their reasoning.

“You can’t force memories, Creed! And as for telling you what we think happened, it wasn’t our job. I did a favor for my friend, Crawford. The rest was for your commanders to decide; we had no control over what they did or didn’t do. That’s not how this works, never has, and never will.” He seethes.

Mark steps between us as my veins act as a conduit for my venom. “You all stood by and allowed people who haven’t the smallest of an idea what I – we have been through, that will never understand what it means to lose your lifeline on the battlefield. Reckless much?”

“They do the same thing for every man or woman that walks through their doors and pledges to bring honor and justice for this nation. You can be angry about the message, but don’t think for a second the messengers haven’t stood in the very spot you find yourself. We all have our crosses to bear, Creed, and the wounds run deep.”

I stumble back when his words hit me, sending me reeling. “I’m a SEAL, I know the price. I just didn’t realize whom I paid it to.”

“Hatch, we’ve all paid for the same damn thing. You’re not different, the situation is. If you think anyone in this room wanted you to go through what you did, you’re wrong. Just as the family you were born into, we are your family too.” Quinn bares his teeth, straining his words. His words stunned me, dragging me lower into this hell that is my life.

“My parents knew?” I glance around the room and find my answer. “Wow. Is there anyone I can trust for the truth?”

“You want the truth? You talk of trust, but I’ve often wondered if you know the meaning. These people aren’t dismissive of you. They’ve done everything possible to help, including your family! We’ve all done what we felt was right. They risked their lives, lost their jobs, and set their families aside for you. And you dare talk truth and trust?” Drew’s head hangs in disgust. Or is it contempt for me?

“Yes, Drew! Yes! Isn’t there anyone that stopped to think I might need the truth? To trust me to know it?” I grit my teeth, fisting my hands to keep from beating the hell out of something. “I need to leave.”

Mark steps in front of me. “Man, just chill for a second before you go storming out of here. You’re not in the mindset to drive or much of anything else.”

“That’s for damn sure, I’m not in the mindset for this shit anymore.” I brush past him, barreling through the door. I stop cold in my tracks, seething as I look in the direction of Aaron’s room.

“Go, Creed. He’ll wait.” Jackson’s voice is clear, speaking directly to my demon and banishing him for now.

I grind my jaw as I spin on my heels and sprint toward the exit. The doors swing wide, and I hurl myself through them. The faster I can get away, the better off everyone will be.

As I climb into my SUV, there’s no doubt where I’m going or whose arms, I need to be in. I throw it in reverse, slamming it into drive and tear from the parking lot.

“And here I thought I had been lost the last two years, now I know it’s because I had nowhere to call home.” I speed toward the interstate, getting as far away as I can from here.

A quick stop to grab Doc, I yank my bag from the floor I left there last night. I don’t care if it has clean clothes or not, I’m making my escape, there’s no time to waste.

A few hours later, I’m turning onto her street. The house has a warm glow about it, a welcome for this weary soul. I can’t recall how I got here; this entire day is a blur.

I park by the curb, opening my door for Doc, and I slide from the seat. My legs are as heavy as my heart—doubt swirls as I climb the steps. I hope I’m not more of a burden than she can handle.

Just as I’m about to knock, her door opens, and she throws her arms around me. Doc slips between us and into the house. In all this time, my vision of home wasn’t anything like this. There wasn’t a fiery redhead, or a little girl so sweet she’ll steal your heart.

I thought of my parents’ home, not one of my own. I dreamed of solace, acceptance, and for someone to take me as I am, not as they remembered. Here, in her arms, I find me.

Home is not a place or the things in it. It’s a person, the warmth of understanding, acceptance, and love without condition.

“Are you alright? I wasn’t expecting you since you didn’t call.” She tugs me through the door. It’s more like I fall through it.

“I had nowhere else I wanted to go.”

She tilts her head, reading me quickly. “Do we need a drink for this?”

“Two,” I kick off my shoes. “better yet, bring the bottle.”

Her eyes widen as she scurries into the kitchen. “Please, don’t wait for me.”

“No way, I’m not goin’ anywhere without you again.”

She hands me a glass; I decide on her instead. I sweep her off her feet and head to the bedroom. I lean her over the nightstand, and she places the bottle and glasses down.

Without hesitation, I drop her onto the bed, falling to her side. Her arms are around me as I bury my face into her chest. Her scent lingered on me for the last few days, I’ve missed her more than words can say.

“My human is hurting.” She whispers.