Page 6 of Absolution

“You were out solid for a few days.” Mark half shrugs, as if that’s the answer.

“But how many?”

Quinn leans against the wall, running his hand through his hair. “Fourteen.”

“I’ve been out for two weeks?” My chest caves, the weight of everything I’ve been through up to this point, breaking me from the inside out.

“You were medically induced for the better part of it.” Quinn continues. “You’ve been through hell, Creed.”

“Yeah, man. Give yourself plenty of time.” Mark nods in agreement with Quinn.

I stare at the pattern on the blanket tossed across me. It’s better than looking into their faces full of pity for me.

“You know, don’t you?” My stomach revolts, and I swallow hard to keep from embarrassing myself further. “I’ve tried every waking moment to force it, to have it not be true. But there’s no use, I can’t run from it and I sure as hell can’t hide from it.”

Quinn steps closer, laying his hands on the side of my bed. “Creed, it happens. Many soldiers come home with multiple injuries and issues to work through.”

“You’re not alone, and you will never be. We’re your brothers, for life.” Mark’s words vibrate with emotion. They’re saying everything they should, and telling me what they’re supposed to.

Fuck that.

“I have no memory. None! Nothing to tell me who I am or who I’m supposed to be. What about my family? Do I have parents? Do they know or even care about me?” I run my hands over my sheets, drying them as I panic. “How long am I going to live like this… with this?”

“You need more time, that’s all.” Quinn crosses his arms, telling me he’s as protective of himself as I’m being.

I rub the back of my neck, trying to quieten my nerves. Every limb is shaking, as I start to freak out. I have to say, I need to face it head on. I don’t know why, but something is telling me this is an important part of who I am.

“What if someone is out there, missing me, needing me, wanting me to come to them, and I’m not there. What if she’s loving me, only to feel alone.”

The room grows quiet, and we sit there for what feels like hours. I’m lost in thought hoping something will come to mind.

Even after Mark and Quinn leave, I spend the rest of the night doing my best to remember who I am. Where I come from. And how I’m going to continue living this life.

The evening fades into darkness, and I allow it to swallow me whole. I have nothing to give my waking hours, but in my dreams, someone is needing me.

Light erodes my tranquility, dragging me into a conscience state. The bright room is made worse by the white walls, using them like a prism to reflect a glaring beam.

The throbbing pain between my temples is torturous, and I haven’t even opened my eyes yet. To do so, would mean exerting myself to peel my lids back.

The glow that’s already piercing them is more than I can bear. Why would anyone think this a good idea?

“What in the hell? Is this the newest device in tormenting your captives?” I grumble, tossing a pillow over my head.

“It’s called the sun, people actually flock to it after a long, dismal stay indoors.”

I lift my blinder to take a peek at the voice standing next to me. “I might not remember much, but I do know there are sunglasses for a reason. This is the reason.”

“I’ll close them…”

“Thank you.” I mumble.

“A little.” She does just that, and it’s of no help. “You should’ve let me finish.”

I wrestle my sheets, rolling to my side. “Well, I didn’t want to spoil your fun.”

“Good news! You’ve been with us six weeks today, looks like you’ll be transferred to a rehab facility in the next few days.” Jill’s nice, she’s one of the best nurses here but we both know we loathe one another.

I cut my eyes at her. “You’re right, it’s good news.”