Page 36 of Absolution

He smiles mischievously. "Did you talk to the vet or roll over for her?"

“Ya know what, screw you! I have that other bunch of numb nuts for this shit.” I shake my head. “But, yes, we spoke. I'm not sure she’s interested."

He leans on his desk, his mouth working out what he wants to say before he spits it out. "All I ask is that you remain open to your parents. This was supposed to be to reconnect with them, if something goes wrong or doesn't work out, don't cut them off. They deserve more than a visit because of a woman."

"I hear you; I do. It's not like that, I had a nice time with them. I realize this is a whim, and nothing may happen, but I'm drawn to her. I need to find out more about her."

"Alright. You have my number; you're welcome to call day or night." He stands as I do, extending his hand. "I have to say, I'm pleased. Take things slow with everyone."

"I’ll text you." I shake his hand. "Wow. I'm headed home."

"Good luck."

I hit the door running, headed home to pick up Doc, so we can get on the road. Usually, she's with me, I wanted her to rest as long as she can because of the trip. Who knows when she might need a doctor again?

Chapter Eleven

Scarlet

"Any big plans this weekend?"

"I didn't want to brag or anything, but I might just have something dirty up my sleeve." I waggle my brows, and Amy's eyes widen. She slides up next to me, waiting for all the details.

"Do tell?"

I lick my lips, crouching down next to her ear and whisper. "I'm going to start with the dishes, and then I'm going to do the laundry."

"I hate you!" She bumps my shoulder with hers. "I thought for sure you were gonna get your freak on, but no, you were teasing me."

"Amy... if I ever get laid, you'll be the first person with the details."

Her eyes narrow. "You promise?"

"Scouts honor." I hold up three fingers.

"Whatever." She grumbles. "We'll be old and dried up before your snatch is plundered."

"Oh, my gracious! Hush it, you're killing me." I cover my ears with my hands and pretend to drown her out. She cackles as I scurry away to my office. The problem is... she's probably right.

Amy strolls in right behind me, grinning like the loon she is and drops into the seat in front of me. "All I'm saying is that you might have crotch rot, it's been so long since you've used that thang."

"You do realize women do not get crotch rot, only males do?"

"Alrighty, Miss Know-it-all Doctor. I'm simply saying you're in Muff C.C.C., and you need to do something about it."

I gape at her, trying to weigh my options of whether I should ask or if I even want to know. Obviously, I need mental help because I ask. "What is Muff C.C.C.? Not the muff part, I know what that is."

"Coochie Critical Care."

"What in the ever-loving hell is Coochie Critical Care?" The minute it's out of my mouth, I hold my hand up to stop her. "Wait, I don't want to know."

"Yes, you do, it might just save your life. Coochie Critical Care is when your Who-ha is in need of Trouser Trout. I just saved your Who-Ha, my friend!"

I blink rapidly in hopes this information doesn't stick to my brain, but it's of no use, now all I can think about is Coochie Critical Care and the fact... she could be right. Dropping my head to my desk, I bang it several times.

"I'm not sure what's sadder about this conversation; the fact we're talking about my lack of Coochie Care or that I'm actually listening."

Amy leans forward, patting my head. "The first step is admitting you have a problem, the second is getting help or accepting some from a friend."