Page 54 of Luci’s Lullaby

“Cid, please. I’ve never been alone before, you’ve always had my back. All those times I told you to leave me alone, I take them back. This can’t be the end to your story, no way it ends this way.”

I sit for hours by his side, begging him to stay. “Fight, goddamn it! You’ve always been the fighter.”

With every passing hour, nothing changes. Day turns into night, just like my life. His body doesn’t move and although I can hear a heartbeat, I know it isn’t his own. “I don’t want to lose you now, you haven’t taught me everything.”

By morning, I’ve regained some composure. After multiple vibrations, I realize my phone has been getting continuous messages and calls. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going.

Releasing Cid’s hand, I pull my cell out. I turn it on to see so many people are wanting me, but nobody needs me. I wrap my hand around it and raise my arm facing the wall.

Before I release it, it rings again. I hesitate but decide to look at it. Reese.

“Hey.”

“Alden, where are you, love?” Reese asks, her voice no more than a whisper.

“Wake Med, Cid and Shelley were in a wreck yesterday.”

“I’m on my way. Do you hear me, I’ll be there soon.” Her voice trembles like my body.

“It’ll be too late, he’s almost gone.”

Her breath hitches, and my stomach rolls. “I’m coming to you. I love you, Alden.”

“I’ll wait here.” I wipe my face as the phone goes silent. I take my big brother’s hand once again, willing it to move.

A nurse comes in checking on Cid. She looks over his machines before turning to me. “Mister Beck, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“My best friend is coming. She’ll be here soon.”

“What’s her name? We’ll watch for her,” he asks.

“Reese. Reese Pennington.” I snub. “Her husband will be with her, Walker Pennington.”

She nods. “Whenever you’d like to see your niece, someone can take you to the NICU. She’s beautiful by the way, doing wonderfully.”

“I’m sure, she’s her mother.”

“We all agree she’s her father.” She pats my arm as she leaves.

I stare at Cid as my vision blurs. “You see, you have so much to live for, Cid. Please, don’t go.”

As I sit by his side, minutes feel like seconds as the beeping keeps time. Another hour comes to a close, and he’s still with me. I count every one a blessing, knowing time is fleeting.

His heart rhythm slows and suddenly, my heart knows, he’s leaving. I stand, wrapping my arm around him as if I can keep him here. Two nurses join me, working around me, and my world crashes and burns.

“Please, Cid. Stay.” I beg of him, knowing there’s no way he can. I gather every ounce of courage I have and tell him what I know he needs to hear, whether it breaks me or not. “Okay, big brother. Do it your way. I’ll be the best man I know how to be for her. I love you. Go.”

My brother is gone.

I fist my hair, looking around for help. Everything is in slow motion as the room begins to spin. My feet won’t move, they feel like lead. The same metal that’s weighing my chest down so that I can’t breathe.

I stagger from the room, searching for something to stop my pain. My sobs can be heard from every corner. I turn in circles trying to find focus. Instead, I find the arms of my best friend.

“Reese.” I collapse into her arms as we fall into a pile to the floor.

She rocks me, wiping away my tears. “Shhhh, I’ve got you. I’m here, Aldie.”