Page 48 of Luci’s Lullaby

“I know, Mom.” I sigh, sinking under the covers. “I just wish I knew why this had to happen. I mean, besides my bad choices.”

She purses her lips. “Don’t do that, there’s more to come. Mark my word.”

“Alrighty.” I wave at her and roll over in the bed.

When the door closes, I allow the tears to fall. “I feel like such a fool.”

I doze on and off for the rest of the morning. I hate to go into work, I feel terrible. The migraine that’s been working on me for days is here and looking for vengeance.

I stumble out to the kitchen, searching for Mom. I find her on the back porch. “Hey, I think I’m going to call in and go visit Emerson.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” She takes my hand and kisses it.

I return her kiss. “Thanks, Mom.”

Emerson is waiting on her steps when I pull up. She waves, smiling. “Hey, it’s good to see you.”

I wrap her in my arms, giving her a big hug. “You too, thanks for letting me come over.”

“Come on in, Aksel is gone.” She opens the door, and I follow her in.

I plop down in the first chair I come to. “Good, I need a girls’ day.”

“A girl talk is what it sounds like.” She half smiles.

I lay my head back. “Why did I sleep with him?”

“Alden? Why, what happened?” She stares at me with wide eyes.

I throw a pillow over my head. “I can’t.”

“You must,” she says.

I pull it from my face, giving her my best sad eyes. “He said he wanted to forget it happened.”

“He did what?” Her face hardens.

I shrug, wiping my face. “I know. That’s how I reacted, but he was dead serious. He wants to forget it happened, so we can be friends.”

“I understand being friends, but how can you spend the night with someone and just forget? Poof! Didn’t do it.”

I sit up, tired of wallowing in my self-pity. “It’s Alden. You know it’s true, he can’t face a damn thing he does.”

“Charlee, do you still care for Alden?” She raises her brow.

“No,” I protest as hard as my stomach is. “That was so long ago, I wouldn’t dare.”

“I have to ask,” she cringes, “why are you so hurt he wants to forget it?”

I rub my palms into my eyes. “I mean, wouldn’t you be hurt? I feel as though I was a mistake and he’s embarrassed about it.”

“So it’s about your pride?” She’s gauging my every move.

“No, it’s not pride.” I bite my nail. “I suppose some part of me wanted him to see me. Me. Not another notch on his belt and definitely not just as a friend.”

She nods. “So make him see you as more.”

“You’re talking to the girl who has had two lovers; one forgot he had a lover and found another, the second one wants to forget we were lovers.”