Page 147 of Luci’s Lullaby

“He didn’t send a text or anything with the recording, Mom.” My lip trembles as I admit silently what I know—he doesn’t want to work it out.

“It also doesn’t mean he didn’t want to.” She stares.

“Momma, I said things to him I shouldn’t have because I’m still so mad at my own father.”

“Why would you do that? They’re two different people with two different problems and outcomes.” She shakes her head at me.

I fall back into the chair. “I thought if it was so easy for him to leave this time, he’d do it again just as easily. And this time, he’d leave for good.”

“Who said it was easy for him? Charlee, Alden isn’t your dad. You may not like the way he did things, but at least he came back.” Momma pins me with a pointed glare.

“What if he leaves me? I don’t think my heart could stand to lose the love of my life again.”

“What if you don’t? You’ll miss out on the love of your life.” Momma pats my knee as she walks away.

“I don’t think I can talk to him, no matter how much I want to.” A sharp pain in the pit of my stomach takes my breath away.

“I still believe he’d let you see Luci if you’d ask,” Momma says from the kitchen.

“I’ll call Reese in the morning, see if we can arrange something.” I follow her to the kitchen and kiss her goodnight. “Night, Momma.”

“Goodnight, love.” Momma hugs me.

I drag myself to bed, where I toss and turn all night. Luci’s crib in the corner a constant reminder of what was and what could be. By five in the morning, I’m determined to ask to see her.

“I’m assuming you’re waiting for a specific time to call?” Momma watches me carefully.

I chew on my nail. “I don’t want to call too early.”

She glances at the clock on the wall. “Yeah, I can see that eleven in the morning might too early for some.”

“You know something, you’re pushy.” I narrow my eyes at her, trying to be intimidating. She giggles. “Fine, I’ll call.”

I pick up my phone and push dial. I already had her number pulled up. Two rings in and I’m ready to end the call, until she answers.

“Hello,” Reese sings. “How are you?”

“Caller I.D. spoiling one surprise call after the other.” I giggle. “I’m okay, how are you?”

“I’ve been better, but I think you understand.” She sighs.

“Sorry about that. Is everything alright? Things going well?” I pick at imaginary lint on my shirt.

She snickers. “They’re doing good, they miss you.”

“Not so subtle, am I?” She giggles again. “Maybe about as much as he is.”

“I was hoping to see Luci, what do you think my chances are?” I hold my breath.

“Charlee, Alden stands by his word. You can see her anytime you want.” Reese’s voice breaks on his name. Yeah, mine did too.

I take a deep breath. “Do you think I could keep her overnight?”

“Without a doubt.” She hesitates. “You could call him and set something up.”

“I was hoping you could do it for me. I can’t talk to him yet.” And just like that, my heart breaks again. Funny, I thought it couldn’t get more broken.

There’s a long silence. “I texted him, he said whatever’s good for you.”