Page 143 of Luci’s Lullaby

“My studio.” He grins. “She can’t do a thing there.”

I high five him. “Hell yes! I’m so ready. I’m gonna take every chance I get to show her how much I love her.”

“Which one, Luci or Charlee?” He quirks his brow.

“Luci. Charlee. Both.” I drop my head. “I need them, but I want them so much more. I hate it took so much to show me differently.”

“We all fuck up; it’s what you do after that counts.” He pecks the keys on the board.

“I hope Charlee can see beyond what I once was and who I am now.”

“She will, give her time.” He pats my back. “Let’s get some rhythm going.”

We work most of the day, with me taking breaks for Luci. She’s all about lyrics and melodies. She babbles all day and when she isn’t, she’s eating her feet.

“Honey, how can I tell people you’re the most beautiful, intelligent little lady if you eat your feet all the time? Trust me when I tell you it’s unbecoming, and when you get older, there’s toe jam. Not pretty.” I tweak her nose, and she giggles.

It’s been two weeks since we last saw Charlee. She hasn’t even asked to take Luci, she’s just disappeared. I had hoped the pain in my chest would dissipate with time, but it feels as though it’s getting worse.

I stare at our picture in the nursery and picture us this happy again. “Will we ever get the chance again, Luci? Or do you think your daddy has run your mommy off for good?”

“Mmm-mmm-mmm,” Luci says with a grin, and I can’t resist her smile; it’s contagious.

“Yes, mom-mom-mom.”

She giggles. “Da-da-da.”

“Exactly, Dada is the best.” I eat her cheeks, and she laughs.

I take out my phone and find record. I know this might be a dirty trick, but all’s fair in love and horseshoes. I ready the cell and let my thumb hover over the button.

“Mom-mom-mom.”

Luci tries to repeat me. “Mmm-mmm-mmm.” She giggles when I make a face. “Mom-mom-mom.”

I gasp, letting go of the button. My eyes well with tears, Luci wants her mom and I’m the one who made her leave. “Good one, pal.”

I begin to hum Luci’s Lullaby as she nods off. I think back to the first time I heard Charlee sing, she was amazing. Nothing she does surprises me; she’s a truly amazing creature.

“I promise you, Luci. No matter what the future holds, I’ll be here for you. I love you, baby girl.” I rub my thumb over the ‘send’ option on my cell. Pressing it means I’m still trying. Not sending it means. I’m waiting for you.

I hit send.

“I don’t have any hope she’ll call or come to see you, but my wish is that she does even if it’s just you she wants. I’m okay with it, Luci.”