Page 141 of Luci’s Lullaby

“Trying to forget about the huge ass fight Charlee and I just had.” I kiss Luci on top of the head as she sucks her toes.

There’s a knock on the door, and I really don’t want to answer it.

“Alden, open the door,” Reese says, making me move fast.

I get over to the door in record time and swing it wide with Luci in tow. Reese is standing there with a warm smile and open arms. This right here is why she’s my best friend.

I stagger into them, holding onto the last shred of dignity I have. She wraps us in them and holds us until I can breathe again. Luci snubs as hard as I do when I’m finished. We finally make our way back to the living room.

“I called Ava, she’ll be here in five.” Reese lays my head in her lap and strokes my hair. Luci is snuggled beside me, in my arms, and I’m stroking her hair.

We sit like this waiting on Ava. I have a feeling it’s as much for me and Luci as it is, so I don’t have to repeat it for Ava. Soon, another tap on the door.

“It’s open,” Reese says, and Ava walks through it. “Please, lock it.”

Ava rounds the couch, kisses us all three, and puts my feet in her lap.

“Is this what girls do when guys are assholes?” I frown, covering Luci’s ears. She just said da-da. I don’t want her to know I’m one of them yet.

“It is, but we braid hair and shit.” Ava giggles.

“I feel like we need ice cream.”

Reese picks up her phone. “That can be arranged, do you want some?”

I wave my hand. “No, I’m not hungry.”

“You’re in love. You had a huge fight—which, by the way, we need deets. This is what it feels like.” Reese twirls my hair.

“I hate it. I don’t like love; it’s an asshole.” I pout as I play with Luci’s toes.

Ava sighs. “I think the thing that hurts the worst is when you finally get where they are, they’re gone in a different direction.”

“Yes! What is up with that?” I sit up, laying Luci between me and Reese. “I know I messed up, y’all, but damn… why am I paying for her daddy issues?”

“He left her,” Ava points at Luci, “she relates to it.”

I drag my hand over my face. “Am I the only parent who has ever wanted to give up?”

Reese and Ava stare at each other and start to laugh.

“On the daily!” Ava says.

Reese nods. “Every day.”

“I can’t say a lot. I did walk out, and I’ve regretted it since the day I did it. But I was too young and with the wrong person. Luckily, Brannon ended up being the best choice for Andie.” Ava wipes a tear away.

Reese hands her a tissue. This must be why y’all keep them.

“Alden, I’d be hard-pressed to find a parent who hasn’t wanted to quit, take a break, or runaway. We all do, we just don’t do it. I don’t think Charlee expected you to come back, and when you did, it made her take a long, hard look at her life.” Reese winces.

I shake my head. “My coming back should’ve been a good thing, but it’s like she would’ve been better off if I had stayed gone.”

“Well, yeah. Now, she has to help make it work, and what if down the road it doesn’t? Ava raises her brows. “Yes, that’s experience talking.”

“Thank you for your honesty.” Reese fist bumps her. Girls are weird.

I scratch my head. “I told her how I felt, like with real words. Words that grown-ups use.”